The Passive-Aggressive Male
By Lisa Grunwald
Mar 29, 2004, 12:12
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-Reprinted from Esquire Magazine
April, 1989
Gentleman: Ever wonder why you’re driving people crazy?
These are some of the things that passive-aggressive man says:
- “Nothing. I’m just thinking.”
- “No, why do you ask?”
- “Angry?”
- “I don’t hate it.”
- “I won’t stop you.”
- “What’s the problem?”
These are some of the things that a passive-aggressive man does:
- Romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next
- Has a new lock put on the front door and forgets to give his wife the key.
- Calls an early staff meeting and shows up forty minutes late
- Talks on the phone for an hour when he knows that his girlfriend is trying to call.
- Hears about passive-aggression and decides that it doesn’t apply to him.
The possible roots of passive aggressive rage are exhaustive: lack of attention, excess attention, death of a parent, divorce, ridicule, the need of a mother for company, even the need of a mother for sex. Firestone believes that most passive-aggressives had mothers who simply wouldn’t let go. Pinned down by expectations and guilt, the men are essentially trapped into infancy, trying to please but wanting to kill. There is so much anger inside them that to express it becomes unthinkable; even to let themselves see it is rare. Who knows what horrors would be unleashed, and how terrible that would make them seem.
…moi?
Anyways. I have off today so if anyone wants to hang out call me(random people even). Anyone going to see Enon tonight? Coachella Sat and Sun? I hate driving so I’ll probably just end up staying here with whoever’s left and doing the usual.
