RandomBrandon.com Random Brandon Adamson

Taking Brandie to the airport for the second time now was one of the saddest experiences. Perhaps these will be trial runs for the real farewell. Hopefully not. The goodbye was awkward, abrupt and unfulfilling, the way it usually is. I managed to hide it most of the time, but it hit me full force as i was walking back to the car just how much i would miss her. It made me think back regrettingly to a lot of the times when i was aggravated with her or being “bratty” during all those moments when she’s understating and i’m underestimating just how much she adores me. Yet in the back of my mind, I don’t care how cold it is, nobody ever goes to visit New York and then doesn’t want to move there. Still, my heart persists, longing for the exception to the rule. “Always bet your max if you want to win”.

Well I probably won’t write in this thing for a while because the library closes over the holidays.

This year will rival 2001 as definitively the most miserable year of my life. (Well maybe not, come to think of it 1994,1995,1995, 1998, and 1999 were all pretty shitty).
I have to go pick up my check now. Ain’t life unkind? Oh well, I’ll just have to try again next year.

Update: 2001 was actually one of the greatest years, in a badinagoodway kind of way

My car ran out of gas in the middle of the night, and i had to push it around everywhere. So romantic. I get paid on thursday and should be getting a fair amount of xmas money as well. Life is “all right”, would be better if i had a few thousand dollars or at least the slightest bit of affection. i need to go hustle some money, by hook or by crook.

Museum of Love Daniel Johnston, 1983

Gone with the wild wind
Like it was a dream
Preserved now for all to see
Like nothing you’ve ever seen
Right this way
To the Museum of Love
Right this way
You’ve got to see ‘em
It’s love love love
This is right here where he stood
When he wrote those sacred words
And he made a holy vow
And these are the drawings and his library card
And this is the cow
See it all
In the Hall of Sadness
Please don’t miss
The Exhibit of Madness
As legend would have it
He had this nasty habit
Of a longing that was wronging himself
But still he would persist
In fact he would insist
That there was nothing nobody could do to help
He really loved her
He really did
And his love went ’round and ’round
And though he tried to keep it hid
He had lost what he had found
He had lost what he had found
Now all this pain preserved for all to observe
But please don’t touch
It’s an inspiration to think or try to believe
That someone could love someone that much
So now we declare a new holiday for lovers everywhere
For each and every one to have their own share
He would have liked it that way
Right this way
To the Museum of Love
Right this way
You’ve got to see ‘em

I was the victim of unsolicited talking today in the library. Some obnoxious gangster guy sat next to me, and started asking me all sorts of stupid shit. Also his very words “these computers is slower than molasses” in a retarded gangster accent. I just kind of scowled at him the few times he tried to talk to me. Then he got up and left.

So my schedule for this weekend and beyond is wide open. Those of you from the greater Phoenix metropolitan area whom i haven’t talked to in a while or I only shared some brief flirtation with ages ago then disappeared abruptly, I’d like to bring you up again now. We could hang out at the mall, drive around aimlessly, fight about stupid stuff, make out, or just spend an eternity in my room eating, listening to the same cds over and over, playing video games, watching movies, and being the biggest dorks in the world and not giving a fuck. You should get in contact with me by any and all available means.

love,
brandon adamson