1. I am an only child.
2.I have an excellent memory. I can often remember events even more vividly than the people who were actually there.
3. When I was a kid I was a typical imaginative 80′s loner boy (think the kid from “Time Bandits”). I read a ton of books as a child, everything from greek mythology and Choose Your Own Adventures, gihugic english textbooks to mad magazine. I attribute most of my personality to these early influences(in addition to 1980′s HBO movies).
4. I’ve been called a narcissist, but really I’m just a guy who wants to relax and play super nintendo.
5. I’m a very shrewd businessman.
6. I’m not religious. I don’t believe in god or any of that nonsense.
7. I’m a republican I’m pretty sure that my conservatism can be traced to watching Michael J Fox in “Family Ties” as a little kid.
8. I’m mostly obsessed with working on music, writing and various creative things. Everything else I consider to be just killing time.
9. I mostly go everywhere by myself. A lot of people think this is weird, but I like to go shopping and stuff and just daydream while I do it, and I just don’t have much need for human contact. When I was a kid I used to play basketball by myself, and I would play as both the teams, and keep score in my head. Sometimes I made up elaborate tournaments with many different teams, and played as all of them myself.
10. I grew up in a giant old house with 14 bedrooms. The entire third floor I had all to myself, and I would just stay up there and play nintendo, and read. We had an intercom system in the house that my mom and stepdad would yell at me through. My stepdad used to call me “Howard Hughes” because he thought I was such a hermit. It was meant to be derogatory but as I got older more and more I began to take it as a compliment.
11.I used to go deerhunting with a bow and arrow with my dad. I have a strange nostalgia for this.
12. Another reason I go places by myself is that I can never find people who want to do the same things I want to do regularly, but rather then give up, I just do them alone.
13. In the 6th grade I did my “hero” report on Richard Nixon. I came to the conclusion that he was the best leader the United States had ever had. And like the line in the song “Sweet Home Alabama” says Now, Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you? Now tell the truth…
14. I like girls who are lonely, clingy and aggressive. I don’t ever go for the girl who’s in high demand, because I know she’ll always be too busy to really get close to. I go for the girl who’s not in high demand, but that I feel deserves to be. So often when it’s between two people, we choose the wrong one. I’m kind of at the point where I choose none of them.
15. I have an amazing collection of garbage pail kids. Thousands upon thousands, many in laminated plastic cases. They’re at my mom’s house in Pennsylvania.
16. Once I make up my mind that I like you, I’ll like you even if you don’t like me. I don’t mean that in a romantic way even, just in a friend way. Lots of times girls have hated my guts and thought I was the biggest creep, but I always said nice things back hoping eventually they might understand, and sooner or later they decided I was all right.
17. I think objectively. I’m so objective that when someone doesn’t like me, I can totally understand why. Sometimes I get into debates with people, and I end up arguing the other side’s viewpoint better than they can. Most people see things as “only they have the answer and everything is just the way they see it”. I don’t see it that way.
18. I’m always fighting with girls ever since I can remember. I tend to really gamble with them and say things and push the envelope. A lot of people have had to apologize and make excuses for me over the years to keep me from getting my ass kicked as a result of something I’ve said to a girl.
19. I only stop hating my ex-girfriends when I don’t like them anymore.
20. I’m more of an asshole than I am shy. The other day I was at a restaurant eating and minding my own business when a girl started talking to me. After saying a lot of flattering things, she said “I swear I’ve never seen someone look so uncomfortable in my life”. but in my mind I was thinking,”Hey, I just want to eat my lunch, and I wish I could throw a fork at your head to make you stop talking, but then I would go to jail and make a scene and I was well raised and have good manners so I’ll just act mildly annoyed and maybe you will go away”. Occasionally i lose my temper and just have it out with these kinds of “unsolicited talkers”.
21. I’m currently reading “The Man Who Folded Himself”. It’s a 70′s sci fi novel about a guy who time travels and ends up meeting tons of different versions of himself, and even having sex with some of them. I discovered it on the $1.00 shelf outside the book store on Mill ave.
22. I like things that get a lot of bad reviews, because most people are two dimensional, so if something is rejected by the mainstream, even if it is truly bad, it must at least be interesting.
23. I’m terrified of relationships, because I’m always afraid that one might actually work out, and that would be the end of all my dreams because I’d just end up getting married or something.
24.I don’t like most people. I don’t have all that much respect for human life.
25. The city of Phoenix and I have a mutual understanding with one another. Neither of us takes the other one seriously.
26. I like to give girls hickeys. I guess it’s because girls like to pretend when they’re in public that they’re not slutty, while secretly they’re slutting it up. So if you can leave some kind of mark on them that makes it harder for them to go about their daily charade with a straight face. I let them do it back to me though and they always do it 10 times worse.
27.I also kind of have a foot fetish.
28. I love to dance. I love dancing with friends. I love dancing with randoms.
29. My new line is “You’re not even old enough to remember when I used to give a fuck”
30. I’m mostly nice.
31. I like internet friends. They’re not really real, but sometimes you think about them or stuff they write, and it’s just weird. It’s this strange new medium that is having unknown psychological effects on all of us.
32.I love to lay around in my room and watch movies and listen to records.
33.I have this new way of determining whether someone’s relationship will work out. If I see a girl who’s attractive and looks remotely interesting, and she’s dating a guy who I consider to be wack. Then their relationship will probably succeed.
34.I’m very observant. I often get hung up on details.
35. The one thing all my ex girlfriends have in common is that they all got fatter and happier after we broke up.
36. I would never date a girl who had a kid. I mean how can we be partners in crime? Can you imagine Bonnie and Clyde with some carseat in the back? It turns into “Raising Arizona” and basically just ruins the whole ambience.
37. I’m really into girls who are straightforward and make the extra effort.
38. I would have made a great dictator because I value loyalty over ability.
39. I reciprocate.
40. I’m notoriously cold. One time when I was in class, this girl was doing a presentation on divorce and in the middle of it she started crying uncontrollably because apparently her parents had been divorced, and the whole classroom was silent, and I just started laughing out loud and they all looked at me like I was the biggest jerk in the world, but I just couldn’t understand why she thought it was such a big deal. I mean if you can’t deal with something as trivial as divorce in the family, what good are you to the human race as it faces real challenges like space colonization or saving humanity from itself? And yes I recognize the irony in that statement.
41. I love to eat. I’m the hungriest kid.
42. I like to make out.
43. I’ve come to the conclusion that 11:11 wishes are an ineffective tactic in romance.
44. I’m a misogynist.
45. Most people always try to change things about their personality that they perceive as bad. But I’m totally fine with my idiosyncracies. I just go with it. That bothers some people.
46. I often question conventional wisdom. I sometimes think the South should have won the civil war.
47. I used to want to join the french foreign legion. Then I realized that the French no longer have much of an empire. It used to be you could go to romantic places like algeria and indochina and die in battle. Nowadays you’d probably just end up in Chad or some other ragtag third world country bored out of your mind.
48. I have road rage.
49. “I know, like I don’t know, you know? it’s cool.” This statement pretty much sums me up.
50. who cares…
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