Archive for November, 2009

saturday in the afternoon

November 21, 2009

So I’ve finally recovered to the point where I can conduct business as usual. It felt so great to be able to go to the mall and wander around…a favorite childhood past time of mine. I’m still working on buying a place. The condo I had fell out of escrow, as apparently the banks won’t do loans on condos where there are too many rental units.

Its a great time to buy they say. Well, it would be a good time to buy if you are paying in cash maybe, but the reality is most of the places that are good deals are impossible to get a loan for because they are not at least 50% owner occupied or have other issues. The worst part is that it’s a catch 22. Since banks won’t do loans on these condos, that leaves only cash investors who are going to rent them out, thus further reducing the number of owner occupied units while at the same time “ghettoizing” the complexes with rental tenants.
As long as the HOA is financially sound, and the grounds are well maintained, who really cares who is living there?

I think one thing I have really come to dislike about real estate is that almost nothing seems to be done on a “case by case” basis or with any sort of objective human analysis. The whole process seems to be mostly just numbers run through computers and examined by the uncritical eye.

However, I do have a couple other places lined up so it’s only a matter of time.

Shades of Soylent Green

November 21, 2009

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/20/peru-gang-killing-human-fat
Gang ‘killed victims to extract their fat’…
Peruvian police arrest suspects who allegedly drained their victims and sold liquid as an anti-wrinkle treatment
Police said they received a tip four months ago about a trade in human fat, which exported the amber liquid to Europe as anti-wrinkle cream.

You say “Boff a” I say bofa…(neither IRL)

November 18, 2009

Following up on my entry, I decided to bust out with a deez nuts joke via text message to my friend Steven Christopher Wallace. It was the classic “Are you going to see bofa tonight” only he didn’t seem to get it . At first he thought “bofa” mean B of A as in Bank of America…. and I was like no its like how an ebonically charged black person(or other person emulating such perceived culture) would say “both of”…and Steve’s reply was “oh you mean ‘Boff a.’” I told him that I didn’t agree with his pronunciation. “Bofa” makes more sense as it rhymes with sofa, whereas “boff a” would be like “Jimmy Hoffa.”
I hereby submit as evidence, the authoritative website on these matters:

http://www.bofads.com

Do you want to see Bofa?

November 13, 2009

Seeing how the classic phrase “That’s what she said” has now become popular again, I’m wondering could “Deez Nuts” jokes be ripe for a comeback?

Back in the day people used to always nail me with these.
I never really listened to much contemporary music as a kid or teenager, and didn’t get into black culture as much as the average 90s middle class white dude(though I still got into enough of it to be embarrassed about it now.) Anyway, I never had any idea what these people were talking about so I would fall for these jokes over and over because I always thought we were in the midst of serious conversations when they would arise.

p.s. Apparently there is a site on the internet completely devoted to Deez Nuts jokes.

http://bofads.com/


Next time your girlfriend nags you about cleaning your place, ask her if she’s OCD. When she starts to get mad, follow up with “O See Deez Nuts!”

V The Unoriginal Series

November 4, 2009

Why did they have to remake “V”? Is nothing sacred? I hate remakes…. Can’t they come up with any new ideas? Apparently, exploitation is the new imagination.

I can remember vividly being in the living room at 1320 s. elm grove rd when “V” the original miniseries premiered in 1983. In those days, unless you happened to videotape something on beta, you would never be able to see it again. For much of my childhood I would think about “V” nostalgically and it was only in my memories that I could watch re-runs of tiny memorable highlights of it. You can imagine then how ecstatic I was when out of nowhere in the Summer of 1991, the cable channel WGN decided to re-run “V The Original Miniseries” as well as “V The Final Battle”. My 1991 self was sporting the Edward Furlong “Terminator 2″ sidepart haircut that was popular at the time, and I watched every episode with euphoric amazement. Of course, watching old stuff makes you sad too because it makes you think of things from that time period that are gone, and can only be gotten back artificially. So it’s like you can only bring 75% of the magical feeling back, which is good, but comes with a “glass 25% empty” sensation.

In a side note, The alien lady “Diana” from the original 80s version was one of my first childhood sexual fantasies:

p.s. During my Summer of 1991 viewing, I developed a crush on Faye Grant, who became an early adolescent sexual fantasy.
I need not say anymore than that.


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