Archive for December, 2009

escalation of tension

December 24, 2009

What is it with people who love to congregate in front of the escalator? It’s like they just hang out right there and they stare at it and are just too afraid to get on….waiting for the right moment. Folks, its not skydiving! Just hop right on and away we go!

I mean I understand about fears, but sometimes you just have to butch up a little. I have a fear of flying, but still get on planes(albeit white knuckling it on takeoff and landings.) I’m terrified of sharks, but still wade into the ocean. I hate heights, but have learned to deal with that “ball tingle” sensation one gets peering over the balcony at a rooftop pool party. I am a hypochondriac, paranoid about stds…but I still have occasional unprotected sex (when I get the chance.)

The endangered species carousel

December 18, 2009

Went to Zoolights on Tuesday night at the Phoenix Zoo. When we walked in, immediately somebody(a zoo employee) took our picture, and they were like “you can pick up the photo on the way out,” but we were so surprised that there was no way either one of us was going to want to see what leprositic looks of terror on our faces that were captured on digifilm. Something of a poor man’s paparazzi, it was a schlock and awe tactic to say the least. We did not retrieve the picture upon exit.

The dancing trees light show is amazing. We watched it 3 times. There was an energetic older man who video-recorded the entire thing on his camera and showed it to us…which mostly just made me think how I need to get married so that I don’t end up like one of those lonely wandering old men who spend their time people watching in public places and chatting it up with young strangers. But alas, I know it is to be my destiny.

They have a Komodo dragon exhibit now. As I’ve mentioned before, the Phoenix Zoo keeps getting better all the time.

While I was recovering from surgery a while ago, I read a copy of “Peter Pan” which had been given to me as a gift for xmas 2007 with the inscription “to the boy who will always be my Peter Pan.” Well as we all know…Wendys come and go, but Peter Pan remains in neverland…so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless.

I will be going to Las Vegas again in January for the annual Consumer Electronics Show and staying at The Flamingo. Last time I was in Vegas I won some money…would like to win some more. Just need to find myself a nice “White Ice” slot machine.

nervous energy, forbidden love

December 12, 2009

Late and very romantic night at Casey Moore’s on thursday (which may ignite some controversy and so can’t be described in my usual hyper detailed fashion)…was up until 5:30 a.m. and so I only got 1 hour and a half sleep. I foresee a trip to zoolights coming soon.

I’ve had a difficult time buying a place. I have had two contracts fall through already. It’s tough to get a deal closed in this real estate market.

Also, I’ve watched “Christmas Vacation” every night for like the last 10 days and have been reading Chevy Chase’s biography “I’m Chevy Chase and You’re Not.”
Some girls I’ve dated over the years have said I reminded them of Chevy Chase due to my understated humor, bullshit artist qualities and just general clumsiness.

I have a couple other places I’m interested in buying.
One is in kind of a seedy, somewhat tacky complex, but which I somehow like because it has a “summertime in the mid 1960′s quality to it(even though it is probably populated with contemporary riff raff.) The place was built in 1963, and is two bedroom, two bathroom,(in case I need to start a family which I do) and it’s only $29,000. The other one is in a much nicer complex(built in 1962), but it is not the best unit in the complex and only a 1 bedroom which is unacceptable if I’m ever going to have a girlfriend move in bringing humongous dressers full of clothing and creams and whatnot….and in case I impregnate someone which is not likely given my extensive history of unprotected sex and conversely low percentage in fertilizations(0% confirmed.)

he’ll remember that number

December 6, 2009

Yesterday we were playing the new John Madden’s football 2010(Madden ’93 for the Sega Genesis is the best of all the versions in my opinion.) I lost a couple of close games against Rudd 49-45 and 35-32. They both came down to the laset couple plays of the game. Then after a night of nothingness at Casey Moore’s and a few minutes at Cheap Thrills I went home, and ended up having bizarre football dreams. I dreamt that the New York Jets along with a host of other teams wanted me to be their starting quarterback. The fact that my prior football experience was as a mediocre player at the Catholic grade school recess level, and am a scrawny malnourished snotling did not seem to discourage them. However, I hate New York, New York accents and New Yorkisms(take a walk, etc) and all that so I really didn’t want to play for them. Then I realized I did not know how take proper snaps and run plays and formations so I would not get very far. I came up with a plan to study all that stuff and essentially cram for it in one night.
Needless to say, the dream never materialized. In fact it didn’t even materialize within the dream. There was never any imaginary football played, and there was a really annoying guy who kept bothering me because he wanted to be starting quarterback…and he was so obnoxious it was like someone trying to talk to you on the bus. Anyway I said I wanted to play for a different team just so I wouldn’t have to deal with him. I don’t remember what happened after that. It was a dream after all, and these things often end unresolved.

pedestrian roadrage

December 4, 2009

I hate when people drive so slow in parking lots that you can actually “outwalk” them.


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