Archive for May, 2011

Fly away with me sky girl

May 31, 2011

Drinking wine and repeatedly listening to the “Fathom” soundtrack in my living room…probably my all time favorite film score. No, really. Those songs have been stuck in my head for years.

Fly away with me, sky-girl
we’ll go racing chasing the sun
swallows on the wing around us
and the sunlight shining
on our rainbow run
ever tried to chase moonbeams
while the stars shine twinkling and bright
no, you’ll never find a joy for girl and boy
like floating in the air
there’s just nothing to compare
with the joy that we’ll be sharing
tonight

Shoutout

May 28, 2011


Thanks to Hollywood Teen TV for featuring my video. You guys rule.

This can’t be the way the world ends

May 24, 2011


“Oh God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams”

I’ve really grown fond of this website, The Mad Monarchist

I don’t agree with all of the guy’s opinions(although I do most of them,) however the site is a treasure trove of detailed information and insight on current and defunct monarchies of the world. Aesthetically, monarchy has always been my preferred form of government. In fact, I’ve often (half- jokingly) maintained that I’m still loyal to the king, and have frequently questioned whether the colonies should have ever revolted. Maybe I played too many Super Nintendo RPGs as a kid,(and as an adult) but I don’t see how one could make it through an entire game of Chrono Trigger and conclude that a character like King Guardia XXI would have been any worse or less corrupt of a leader than most of the democratically elected, popularity contest winners of the 21st century.

Whether we choose them or not, you get good leaders and you get bad leaders. Sometimes you get a Dwight Eisenhower or Calvin Coolidge. Once in a while you have to suffer through a Jimmy Carter or GWB. So it goes with kings and emperors. Sometimes you get a Tiberius, and sometimes you get a Caligula. Democracy can only be as competent as the quality of the current state of “groupthink” that propels the majority’s decisions. Time and time again majority opinion has been proven to be misinformed and has led us into more predicaments than it has navigated us out of. We’ve all seen the brutality and heavy handedness that military dictatorships can unleash upon a country. Military leaders often have charisma though, and can manage a country well if they are just. If you had to have one though, it would be hard to find more suitable brass then General Leo from Final Fantasy III/VI, a genuinely humble and charismatic figure. Like many heroes of made of a similar ilk ilk though, he left us too soon.


“I knew you were being used as some sort of biological weapon. And because I didn’t do anything about it, I’m no better than Kefka.” —Leo to Terra Branford

Anyway, one thing I love about monarchy is that it takes almost all the cheesy corporate sloganeering and endless campaigning out of government and(in a good age) restores a tasteful dignity and sense of inspiration to the people.

I might be climbing on rainbows, but…

May 19, 2011

I sometimes wonder how people find so much time to update their blog. I personally can’t even find the time to masturbate(and believe me it wouldn’t take long.) Seriously, I don’t know if they are independently wealthy or what. Who has the spare hours it takes to crank out massive entries multiple times per day?

Maybe it’s because of the heat and stress, but I’m tired often and early…struggling to stay awake as I type this. Yet I manage to stay out late on weeknights, with the inspirational line from the early 70′s “Bread” song “Make It With You” propelling me:


“you know that dreams they’re for those who sleep…
life is for us to keep”

a song which played in a girl’s car last summer at 7 in the morning after a several hour roll around on the floor make out session had taken place, which was preceded by a 5 minute game of Uno(no that’s not innuendo for anything we really did play the card game Uno first, and you can imagine how boring it is with just two people which is why it led to making out.)

The song of course, doesn’t remind me so much of the girl as it does inspire thoughts of “trying,” of always making the effort to beyond a level of consciousness you’ve previously reached, of getting out of your comfort zone(something I do not like to do)
and above all, really reaching for the ultimate connection to someone or something.

As a cynical person, always walking the fine lines between bold initiatives, low expectations, and pessimistic indifference…the message of the song becomes less pervy and romantic and more just what I would say to someone whom I wanted to understand. They wouldn’t understand of course, much less care to. They’d be busy texting or chatting about tattoos and haircolor and completely talk over the song while it was playing.

In my mind, it’s already back to the drawing board. I give up easily, but not completely, and certainly not permanently. One of the things that comes with age is recognizing that actively pursuing a specific girl for weeks/months/years is a waste of time. It just isn’t a wise investment. At any given moment, even a mediocre girl is most likely being courted by multiple competing dudes. When you’re a young guy, you might spend a year or two of your life on that wasteful road construction project. Sometimes it can be rewarding I guess, but like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives. This mangy mutt is not going to spend his trying to run with a bunch of younger, dumber, and hungrier dogs chasing a bone around a track. There just isn’t time!

search and avoid

May 18, 2011

Sometimes I look around and think about what a waste of time it all is.

Plastics

May 16, 2011

Mr. Braddock: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half baked.
Ben: No, it’s not. It’s completely baked.

Watched The Graduate the other afternoon, which I hadn’t seen since it was on tv on a saturday(or was it a sunday?) afternoon in fall of 1996(UPN channel.) I did see part of it at Beth and Josh’s pool party one night in the summer of 2006, but that wasn’t as memorable of a viewing since other people were chatting the whole time, and we were drunk and had just eaten filiberto’s. Anyway, The Graduate was much better than I had remembered it being. The ambiance of the film is great of course, the epitome of 60′s style and cool and in the words of one eloquent youtube commenter, “this is what white culture was 40 years ago.” I always felt that the film sells out in the end though, sending well intentioned young men the wrong message. Ben Braddock fucks a girl’s mom, then goes on one date with the girl and falls madly in love and decides hes going to marry her. Of course, after Elaine finds out he banged her mother(she is misinformed by her mother who claims he raped her,) she wants nothing to do with him. He then proceeds to travel up to Berkeley where she is going to school, rents a room and starts stalking her…harassing her every chance he gets. Sure, from one shiftless, idiosyncratic dude to another, we’ve all been there. You tell me how well that strategy works for you. Maybe things were different back then, but these days the girl would have threatened to call the cops and get a restraining order if you so much as sent one potentially creepy text. Now I’m not saying this type of persistence couldn’t work, merely that it couldn’t work for a shy and nervous guy like Benjamin Braddock on a respectable and intelligent girl like Elaine. If it were some big, hairy, oafish guy pursuing some degenerate, drug addict, slutbag, it might work. Indeed, I’ve seen it happen more than a few times. Maybe that’s why the movie is so popular, because Hoffman’s character becomes an unlikely hero and succeeds through methods which have failed his kind so many times before and since. It would have been a much better film if he did not get Elaine at the end, if he were to race to her wedding only to have her say “Benjamin, you’re starting to scare me. Look you’re a great guy, and we had some good times, but really I don’t like you as much as you like me. Besides the fact that I just got married, I’m moving to Portland, and I want to start over there and have new experiences and meet new people. I don’t want you to come with me.” Then the graduate could have learned life’s hardest lesson, one that isn’t taught in any school.

On a side note, he should have never slept with Mrs. Robinson. If a girl’s mom is attractive, it is a sure sign that you should go for the daughter. Good advice my dad once gave me: “If you go on a date with a girl, make sure you get a good look at her mom, cause that’s who she’s gonna look like in a few years.”

I have no fans, only flames which I fan

May 16, 2011

I think it’s time to disappear for a while. I don’t mean from this blog of course…which may even be updated more frequently…. but rather, further detach myself from the world and those in it. I’m headed toward one of my reclusive phases I think, where I become that other part of me who drinks alone and paints his face while indulging in endless repetitive guitar playing and creating giant pieces of abstract art while watching the same 60′s movies over and over. I’m convinced that is as good as it gets for me.

I need to completely give up on any ill conceived ideas of summer romance. Luckily, I have zero sex drive, which helps. Don’t get me wrong, I can still get all hot and bothered by a girl if she has desirable features, but I don’t think I could get an erection even if I wanted to. Well that’s not true actually, but a girl would probably have to put forth the kind of minimal effort that no girl I know would, that is they would have to show some remote interest. Oh I still have a positive attitude and all that. I just need to channel my energies to areas that are actually productive and situations which I have some control over. I must have gone on 30 or 40 miserable dates in the past year, some of which were comically bad(meaning they at least provided a good story,) others were traumatically bad(i was actually bummed out) some were just bad(mutual disinterest, unremarkable and total wastes of time.) For a time I thought, I’d even settle for just a friend who would be my partner in crime. Even that is elusive in this town. Few people have enough imagination to be down to do randomly interesting things, and those that do simply have too much going on in their lives or are not interested enough to take the “Nestea Plunge” and fully immerse themselves in a world occupied by just the two of us, looking out at the rest of them. Indeed the prospects of that happening are so far off in never-never land I’d need Tinkerbell’s pixie dust to reach them.

A Choice Not an Echo

May 14, 2011

Democracy isn’t really my thing, but I’m glad Ron Paul decided to run. I don’t like a lot of Paul supporters: the 9/11 truther people(of which Charlie Sheen narrated their video,) and the crackpot pow/mia crowd(who still believe there are prisoners of war being held in Vietnam.) Ron Paul has never disavowed these people or called them out for peddling nonsense. In fact, Ron Paul has never inicated he believed in these conspiracy theories, yet for some reason these groups think that he does. They assume just because he thinks it’s pointless, counterproductive and a waste of money to intervene in the irrelevant affairs of ragtag third world countries….that he must also believe the US was behind the 9/11 attacks. He doesn’t. This has always been the thing that discouraged me about him though, a lot of those wackjob supporters would likely find their way into high profile positions in his administration. People who lack basic critical thinking skills and whom are mentally unstable should be kept at arms length.
When it comes to Paul though, you have to look at the man himself. His ideas are long overdue, and out of all the candidates, Paul is the only one likely to make good on his promises. You know that he means it. If he wins, make no mistake our troops will be coming home from Korea, Japan, Germany, etc. Unlike someone like Obama, who seems to have no clue what people even elected him to do(or not to do.) He has essentially continued on with almost all the dumbest ideas of the Bush administration, and even got us into a new war in Libya…after we had just made peace with them and restored diplomatic ties(one of the only good things Bush did.)
Ideally, someone like Trump would be my ideal candidate. He of course famously opposed the Iraq war, which is something the media never talks about because they are obsessed with his comments on the Obama birth certificate issue. If Trump would just stick to his positions on the issues, he would be better off. Trump is a laid back, intelligent guy, with an appreciation for hot babes, who would make a good president. He probably has no chance to win though. Ron Paul however, has a good chance. If he doesn’t win the primary, then we will be stuck with yet another presidential election with a non-choice. There is essentally no difference between Newt, Pawlenty, Romney, Daniels, etc and Obama. They may even be worse. The differences in any event, are minimal and exist only at the margins. Ron Paul, at the very least offers us a clear contrast or to put it in Barry Goldwater terms “a choice not an echo.”

“I was once asked what kind of Republican I was. I replied that I was not a “me-too” Republican. That still holds. I will not change my beliefs to win votes. I will offer a choice, not an echo. This will not be an engagement of personalities. It will be an engagement of principles.” -Barry Goldwater, 1964

Workout Routine

May 13, 2011

Workout Plan By Brandon Adamson (circa 2004)

Some girls are all about
wishing things would’ve worked out
or wondering why
things didn’t work out
don’t work out
won’t work out
or if only this
or that
then things could’ve worked out.
It’s as if instead of working things out
and things working out
all they really wanted was a good workout
I guess just let them
work themselves out
cause I just want things to work out
if that’s cool

We called him tortoise because he taught us

May 11, 2011

At the used book store in the Milwaukee Airport in 1988, I made my mom buy me a book called “Winning Through Intimidation” mainly because, as a little kid, I liked the illustrations and was drawn to the cool looking turtle on the front cover.

I kept this book under my pillow(along with about 8 other books) and used to read it before falling asleep. I have no idea how much I was able to actually comprehend. Despite it’s title, this book is actually about how to avoid being intimidated, not just by people, but by life itself. With it’s cynical world view, and humorous anecdotes, the principles are timeless and can be applied to almost any situation. I revisited this book recently while in the bathtub and found that I had unknowingly(subconsciously) adopted many of the methods and attitudes promoted in this book(page 7 for example:)

Theory of Sustenance of a Positive Attitude Through the Assumption of a Negative Result

a. Prepare yourself for long-term success by being prepared for short-term failure
b. A person shouldn’t enter a sales situation feeling he can’t make the sale, but he should realistically assume that he won’t make the sale. If you’re prepared, then you’re able to feel confident that you are capable of making the sale if it is possible to be made. Hope for the best, but realistically assume the worst.
c. No matter how well prepared you are, only a small percentage of deals actually close, because there are an endless number of factors beyond your control.
d. Each negative result is an educational experience from which you can extract lessons learned, and then forget about the negative result.

How many times have I gone into a romantic situation enthusiastically while at the same time knowing it was likely to be a complete fucking disaster?(see the entry below this one.) I’m pretty sure it’s been every time, for a long time.

“Winning Through Intimidation” came out in 1973, and was remarkably a self-published book which became a #1 best seller. The Author, Robert Ringer, is still around, http://www.robertringer.com. I’ve always been obsessed with both rabbits and turtles. Indeed, my moniker on the internet was “rabbit” in the early days of the internet(after the main character in John Updike’s novel Rabbit, Run which has always been a personal favorite.) The white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland was my favorite character as well. Yet, truth be told I identify more with the tortoise. In fact one of my ex girlfriends used to refer to me as a turtle, mainly due to how slow I was to commit and allow the relationship to progress. Though I might also argue that my incredible patience with her and protective shell to deflect her blows were the real turtle-like qualities. Friends I have had in the music and art world have never understood why I released things so cheaply and never followed the so called natural steps to achieve fame, fortune and notoriety. “How will you ever become popular if you don’t play live.” “Don’t you want to tour and get a record deal?” You have to do this. You have to do that to make it, Brandon.” All they thought about was the short term, concerned with doing whatever they could to get ahead quickly. When I started recording music in the late 90′s, I may have lived under some of those illusions, but I was looking 20 or 30 years ahead. My goal was to release as many works and small projects as I could, with an eye on what their cumulative effect would be as opposed to their individual immediate impact(which I had no illusions about.) Just put something out, any way you can, don’t push it too hard or give a rats ass what anyone thinks, and move on to the next project. Each is just a piece of some gigantic narcissistic puzzle of my life. Is it the best way to create things and live? I can’t really say I know for sure. It is this tortoise’s way though.

Robert Ringer adopted The Tortoise as his alter ego in his first book, because so many of the anecdotes in that autobiographical work were reminiscent of the legendary tortoise-and-hare tale. The Tortoise is the unglamorous plodder who always seems to find a way to come out ahead, no matter how harshly life treats him along the way. He isn’t flashy or impressive; his strengths are consistency, perseverance, resiliency, and resourcefulness. He’s the kind of reptile who, upon being told that he can’t play in someone’s game, simply goes out and starts his own league.

The Tortoise is the quintessential antihero, reflected in such characters as Ben Braddock (played by Dustin Hoffman), the shy, stuttering boyfriend in The Graduate; or Colombo, the fumbling, stumbling detective played by Peter Falk in the old TV series of the same name, slow when it came to figuring things out, but always catching the villain in the end; or Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) in the Rocky film series, the late starter who overcame all odds to become world heavyweight champion.

The Tortoise is the ultimate icon of perseverance, the reptile who demonstrates that the outcome of most situations in life are decided over the long term. His motto succinctly sums up his view of the world:

Quickly getting out of the starting blocks may get people’s attention, but all that counts is where you are when the race is over.

“Maybe I’ll be seeing you around the jungle sometime.”

As a side note, given that this book came out in 1973, there are some hilarious parts in “boy-girl theory and “better deal theory” sections relating to how a woman can sell herself as a potential wife to a man(and vice versa.) Now after all these years I finally recognize where my views on relationships as business partnerships originated. It was as a prepubescent boy at the airport in 1988, picking up a copy of “Winning Through Intimidation.” The butterfly effect, anyone?


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