There’s totally a rogue mosquito on the loose in my house. It’s been biting the shit out of me and driving me crazy. I see her flying around periodically, but can’t seem to catch the bastard. I’ve been dealing with this pesky mosquito for days. It’s very elusive and always bites me just when I’m not looking. This thing is also very clever and seems to land on me only in areas that are not plainly visible to me, like the underside of my arms or my back. It also has managed to bite me in random areas where one wouldn’t normally expect to be bitten. Like, how do you get a mosquito bite on the bottom of your foot…while your feet are flat on the ground? I’ve chased this bugger around, and taken a few swipes at him but no dice. I’ve started to contemplate more drastic measures, like smoking or fogging him out. It’s like a pink panther cartoon or something, you know like where the pink panther would be driven mad by some little pest, and end up blowing up and destroying his house trying to get rid of it(but still not getting rid of it.) I can already hear the climactic chase music.
Posts Tagged ‘pink panther’
Deadly is the female. Nothing deadlier is known to man
October 24, 2010Never a Pelvis Parsley around when you need one…
June 21, 2010I always could really identify with the story of Cinderella. Not to sound too gay or anything, but I’m a lot like Cinderella you could say. I can magically transform myself into a mildly attractive person for very brief periods of time…enough to win someone over for a wonderful evening or two. However, when the clock strikes 12 and the love potion number 9 wears off, I know it’s time to get the fuck out before I turn back into a mangy ragamuffin, my American Apparel denim jacket morphing into some thrift store bought B.U.M. Equipment sweatshirt. I have learned to make the most of these Cinderella moments as I wait for the one with the lost slipper that matches my bathrobe.
losers please sign in
May 2, 2010So there’s this guy who owns some sort of garage down a couple blocks toward the ghetto part of the street I live on. Almost every morning for the past few years that I’ve lived here, the poor guy has had to come out and paint over the nightly graffiti left by the Mexican gangster hooligans in the area. The cycle just never seems to end. Every time he paints over it, within a day or two there are new graffiti tags up. It’s like that classic Pink Panther Cartoon “The Pink Phink,” where a house painter can’t figure out why everything he paints blue turns pink. But this guy never gives up. He just keeps painting over it. There must be several thousand coats of paint on that wall, and I’m surprised one can still make out the stucco features of a wall where paint has been so thoroughly caked on. However, today as I drove by I noticed that the guy had apparently given up on painting over their shitty tags and instead offered up this clever zinger of his own that I couldn’t help but snap a picture of:
Apparently, he got tired of their stalemate game of paint-o-war, and just decided to openly mock them by writing “losers please sign in” which given that they’re probably illiterate or can’t speak English…they were all too willing to oblige. Just a friendly garage owner doing his part to keep a shitty old building as nice as possible and trying his best to make the neighborhood a decent place. This guy is my hero!
the hand is pinker than the eye
November 14, 2006So I always say I hate halloween, everyone with their dumb costumes. Mainly because on halloween so many lame people look so much more interesting in their outfits, like they don’t even know they should just dress like that all the time. Life would be so much more exciting. This year Jaymz and Florence and I decided we should look as stupid as possible so we dressed up as unicorns, but we used carrots for the horns. One thing we didn’t anticipate was that people would try to bite the horns. William Reid took a huge bite out of mine and Susan bit one of ours and eventually we all started biting each others.
Last week at Rogue I was hanging out with my friend Natalie, and she gave me her number to put in my new phone but when I entered it in I accidentally put her name as “Natalied”, and she said “Natalied?! I don’t want to be past tense in your phone! I want to be future tense.” So that’s a good friend.
Friday night Jaymz and I went to Glam to meet up with Miranda. It was Bree’s birthday and they had one of those “party bus” things. One of her wasted friends, a girl who I never met before offered to write me a check for $100,000, and then she slapped me in the face..
I got a dvd of “pink panther” cartoons from 1968-75, and have mostly been sitting around watching it while drawing. Let me just say that I identify deeply with the pink panther(cartoon version) because everything always goes so shitty for him, but he just kind of keeps at it even as each and every new thing he tries to solve the situation backfires. My room is a disgusting mess of just about everything you’d imagine(empty bags of goldfish crackers, gillions of empty thirstbusters of diet coke, remnants or drunken trips to del taco, tons of notebooks, papers etc with lyrics scrawled on them, colored pencil shavings, socks, etc). It’s such an unbelievable mess that I refuse to clean it until I can take a proper “before” picture.
Oh, and I forgot to say that one night we went to an Indian Food restaurant, and when we sat down they asked us which one was wearing the cologne but none of us was wearing any. They were like “That cologne smells wonderful, what ever in the world is it!”, and it turned out what they mistook for cologne was just my watermelon flavored bubble gum.
