I think it’s time to disappear for a while. I don’t mean from this blog of course…which may even be updated more frequently…. but rather, further detach myself from the world and those in it. I’m headed toward one of my reclusive phases I think, where I become that other part of me who drinks alone and paints his face while indulging in endless repetitive guitar playing and creating giant pieces of abstract art while watching the same 60′s movies over and over. I’m convinced that is as good as it gets for me.
I need to completely give up on any ill conceived ideas of summer romance. Luckily, I have zero sex drive, which helps. Don’t get me wrong, I can still get all hot and bothered by a girl if she has desirable features, but I don’t think I could get an erection even if I wanted to. Well that’s not true actually, but a girl would probably have to put forth the kind of minimal effort that no girl I know would, that is they would have to show some remote interest. Oh I still have a positive attitude and all that. I just need to channel my energies to areas that are actually productive and situations which I have some control over. I must have gone on 30 or 40 miserable dates in the past year, some of which were comically bad(meaning they at least provided a good story,) others were traumatically bad(i was actually bummed out) some were just bad(mutual disinterest, unremarkable and total wastes of time.) For a time I thought, I’d even settle for just a friend who would be my partner in crime. Even that is elusive in this town. Few people have enough imagination to be down to do randomly interesting things, and those that do simply have too much going on in their lives or are not interested enough to take the “Nestea Plunge” and fully immerse themselves in a world occupied by just the two of us, looking out at the rest of them. Indeed the prospects of that happening are so far off in never-never land I’d need Tinkerbell’s pixie dust to reach them.
