“I am so dead they’re going to have to bury me twice “- Corey Haim

Corey Haim died, which was pretty sad. He was always my favorite of the two Coreys. In the fall of 1988, my mom took me and Robbie Haas to see “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” but for some reason it wasn’t playing so we ended up seeing “License to Drive” which would later serve as an unbeknownst premonition to my own future drivers test woes. I really wanted to be like Corey Haim when I was a kid, and he inspired many of my early ambitions. It’s weird to think that getting caught up in all the seriousness of art, music and show business, that what initially got me into all this stuff was just wanting to be like childhood icons I once idolized like Corey Haim, Christopher Pettiet and Jonathan Brandis…a trifecta of cool dudes I spent endless hours trying to look like in the mirror in the early to mid nineties.

All three of them are dead. Someone preserve Edward Furlong!

I even liked Corey Haim’s later teen movies when he was starting on the way down. I remember a humid summer evening in 1992 watching “Prayer of the Rollerboys” by myself on the third floor and thinking it was a cinematic masterpiece. I have not seen it since but would like to. I always wished for these guys to make a comeback, and when I lived in Los Angeles I used to daydream about writing indie scripts that would be vessels for people like Jonathan Brandis and Corey Haim to make stage big comebacks and win Academy Awards or like the Sundance Film Festival or something. Alas, it never happened.

There are so many classic Corey Haim scenes, but one that comes to mind is when he is singing “Aint got a Home” in the bathtub in “The Lost Boys”

I ain’t got no home
No place to roam
I ain’t got a home
No place to roam
I’m a lonely boy
I ain’t got a home

I ain’t got no sister
I ain’t got a brother
I ain’t got a father
Not even a mother
I’m a lonely boy
I ain’t got a home


Well, I got a voice
And I love to sing
I can sing like a bird
And I can sing like a frog
I’m a lonely boy
I ain’t got a home

I ain’t got a girl
I ain’t got a son
I ain’t got no kin
I ain’t got no one
I’m a lonely frog
I ain’t got a home

March 12, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

I was born to love you. I was born to lick your face

B: The movie Caddyshack has been playing on repeat in my dvd player for a few weeks now, and I’ve since adopted a sort of 80’s golfer clothing style… Why are you laughing?

G: I thought you were starting to say you adopted a child. Sorry I wasn’t really paying attention to what you were saying.

B: Ah, well I would never adopt a child. Why would I want to pass up the opportunity to ejaculate inside someone?

G: !

B: Well at least I finally got your attention.

March 7, 2010. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

martin van ruin

Found this cool site that shows the history of Van Buren St.

I never knew that the “Miranda rights” originated from this seedy street, which has apparently always possessed varying degrees of seediness:

In the early 1960s an 18-year-old woman was walking down Van Buren, returning from work to her home near 7th street, when she was abducted, kidnapped, raped and robbed by a certain Ernesto Pablo Montoya Miranda. Well, Miranda was criminal scum, but he was scum with good legal advice. His case was (in my opinion) one of the three most famous (or influential) cases ever to come before the US Supreme court (The others were the Dred Scott decision about slavery and the Brown vs. the Board of Eduation ruling, about integration and civil rights). In 1966 the Court ruled that Miranda had been denied his constitutional rights and thus was born the famous “Miranda” warning used by police today: You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney and to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided to you at no cost. During any questioning, you may decide at any time to exercise these rights, not answer any questions or make any statements. If Van Buren Street had been a better place, this would not have happened, or not to the young lady. Oh yes, Miranda was later killed in a bar fight and his attacker was arrested and read his Miranda Warning rights. He then declined to give a statement, and so he was released and then fled to Mexico. Is that irony or justice or what?

The last time I made a trip down VB was when I was looking to purchase a used car last year. Van Buren is home to some of the tackiest car dealerships in town….Bunny Auto Sales and Jalopy Jungle just to name a couple. I went to almost every single place(there are at least 40 used car lots on van buren.) It was sketchy even during the day, and I could not find a single car in long term drivable condition. When I looked under the hood of one sort promising vehicle…the coolant fluid was black! I said no thanks….

March 4, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

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