Deadly is the female. Nothing deadlier is known to man

There’s totally a rogue mosquito on the loose in my house. It’s been biting the shit out of me and driving me crazy. I see her flying around periodically, but can’t seem to catch the bastard. I’ve been dealing with this pesky mosquito for days. It’s very elusive and always bites me just when I’m not looking. This thing is also very clever and seems to land on me only in areas that are not plainly visible to me, like the underside of my arms or my back. It also has managed to bite me in random areas where one wouldn’t normally expect to be bitten. Like, how do you get a mosquito bite on the bottom of your foot…while your feet are flat on the ground? I’ve chased this bugger around, and taken a few swipes at her but no dice. I’ve started to contemplate more drastic measures, like smoking or fogging her out. It’s like a pink panther cartoon or something, you know like where the pink panther would be driven mad by some little pest, and end up blowing up and destroying his house trying to get rid of it(but still not getting rid of it.) I can already hear the climactic chase music.

October 24, 2010. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

21st century misogyny

Memorable Facebook comment exchange I had with a girl today…

B.A. : Sometimes I’m glad that I don’t have a girlfriend and don’t have to try to decipher ambiguous “feelings” status updates or read passive aggressive complaints about my behavior on a daily basis.

K.A.M : Why doesn’t this status say ” I’m ALWAYS glad that I don’t have a girlfriend and don’t have to try to decipher ambiguous “feelings” status updates or read passive aggressive complaints about my behavior on a daily basis.”

B.A. : Because sometimes I like to have a girlfriend and put up with all kinds of bullshit. 😉 That’s just the price you pay for romance in the 21st century.

K.A.M. : ahhh. I see. A masochist.
haha, We all like our pain someplace.

B.A. : I’m NOT a masochist. One time I let a girl I was making out with slap my face because she said it would turn her on… it did nothing for me. I’m only occasionally willing to put up with bitchy stuff in exchange for going on fun romantic trips to far away lands, cooking dinners together, cuddling, swinging on swings in parks, having someone to go down on on a regular basis etc.

K.A.M. : Okay okay. okay… You win this one… just this once… just one time….
I can admit all those things are nice.
(on the flip side, if you plan all things right, you can make all of those things happen during the ‘honeymoon’ stage of the relationship and skip all the bitchy bullshit, once that starts CUT THE CORD!)
buhahah See

B.A. : bahaha, I don’t have to worry because by the three week mark the girl figures out she’s not interested anyway. So if I’m lucky I’ll have already at least banged her and held hands at the malt shop by that point…otherwise I’m S.O.L.

October 23, 2010. Uncategorized. Comments off.

“I don’t sleep. I hate those little slices of death.”

So busy lately. I just play my acoustic guitar for hours a day and then basketball with JS. I’m really sore, and my ankle is so janky right now that I basically hobble as opposed to walk.

Last night I went to Mikey Jackson’s birthday which was great, but I didn’t end up staying that long cause I had plans to meet Jonathan. In retrospect though I wish I would have stayed longer because when I got to Tempe it was kind of a bust.

Today was the first full day that I really got to relax in a while. I spent my morning eating grape nuts and watching “Journey to the Center of the Earth”(1959 version.) James Mason is so great. Can someone please tell me why he’s not president? Oh yeah I suppose it’s because he died in 1984, and also the fact that he was born in England would have disqualified him.

Well, why does man freeze to death trying to reach the North Pole? Why does man suffer the steaming heat of the Amazon? Why does he stagger his mind with the mathematics of the sky? Once a question mark has arisen in the human brain, the answer must be found if it takes a thousand years. Render that into a few Icelandic words!

Can you imagine anyone saying something like that today? They would be run right out of town for failure to apologize for and denigrate the intellectual achievements of the human race. Why would we waste time and money on advancing civilization, exploring other worlds and understanding the universe when there are children starving in Africa and we have gadgets to play with and everything we need right here?

Ah, I’m living in the wrong time. If it seems like I’m a traitor to my generation(and the one above mine,) it’s because I am.

I’ve always been intrigued by the hollow earth theory ever since I read the HET themed Choose Your Own Adventure book “Underground Kingdom” by Edward Packard as a child. I still own a copy of the book and read it frequently. “At the Earth’s Core”(1976) is another hollow earth film I’m fond of, starring Doug Mcclure, who was the father of “Tane Mcclure”(who was in Scorned 2 and a host of other direct to video 90’s erotic thrillers.) Anyway, I don’t believe in any of this hollow earth business(I was skeptical even as a child.) An interior sun? Yeaaaah, sure…. but as many forms of pseudoscience and science fiction these ideas and stories spark curiosity and set fire to the imaginations of people which then lead to other discoveries being made. It’s also cool to think that possibly there could be giant prehistoric creatures and dinosaurs in some deep cavern underground that managed to be shielded from the ice age and other forces of extinction. Who knows? There’s all sorts of enormous beasts lurking at the bottom of the sea. What in Earth lies 1000 miles beneath the ocean floor? Menacing reptiles? Woolly Mammoths? Primitive cave people? Maybe it’s just rock and dirt.

October 18, 2010. Uncategorized. Comments off.

Rubbish Heap

I hate Skaters. Skateboarders are the dumb jocks of the 21st century. I was a skateboarder from roughly 1990-1999, an era which included some of the best and worst years of my life(1990, 1993, 1997 being the good ones.) My first real board was a Blind, Jason Lee model…the one with the grinch on it. Ah, far away times….

Skateboarding just isn’t cool anymore. The clothing styles are horrible and have not evolved from the late 90’s. It’s not a fashion snob thing, but rather an observation that the imagination is gone from the skateboard world(and those involved in it.) It’s become just a bunch of jock assholes and doofuses like the kind from Jackass…who still think the same 1995 “end of skateboard video” antics are where it’s at. They still have the same stupid sense of humor. Paging through a skate mag now is almost no different than any typical sports magazine. I couldn’t help notice how lame and dumb a lot of the pro skaters look now, even ones that at one time I looked up to and thought were cool.

Ed Templeton conveys similar sentiments about the current skateboard scene in this interview with Vice from a while back:

Yeah. (Silence) There’s a lot of jocks now. Typical athletic adolescent boys, you know the kind? And homophobes. But the core is still there. People who are really different: Artistic, creative, I could name a lot of professional skaters who have an amazing amount of talent. There’s just more jocks around the core compared to the early days. I’m lucky to have been skateboarding in the early nineties.

I couldn’t agree more.

I’ve had this feeling since around the year 2001, which is when I discussed it with a good friend who remarked how the younger skaters would essentially continue on being considered the cool people.

“Well when we were in high school the skaters were the cool kids.”

“Yeah but that sort of thing changes. I don’t think skateboarders are fashionable now. Since it’s become so mainstream there’s probably some other unidentified group that we’re not even aware of yet that will turn out to be the cool kids”

“Who do you think it will be?”

“I guess time will tell.”

There are those who would say that all that matters are the tricks these dudes are performing, but in reality skateboarding was never exclusively about that. As an old acquaintance Tim Kulas used to say, “You don’t know what skateboarding is about until you go somewhere and skate by yourself for 4 hours.”

October 14, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

the most depressing show in the world

So, out of nowhere Wallace showed up at my house randomly and wanted me to go with him to Venue of Scottsdale to see some magic show or something. He had an extra ticket, and it was free so I went. Turned out it was Andrew W.K. someone whom I had never heard of(I am out of the loop as far as modern music, I listen to as little of it as I can get away with) but is apparently super famous. It was billed somewhat outrageously as “The Most Interesting Show in the World” (which brought to mind some of Nietzsche’s presumptuous titles like “Why I am So Wise,””Why I Write Such Good Books” etc) but in actuality was only interesting in that there was free beer. Not to mention everyone knows the most interesting show in the world was The Twilight Zone. When we got there, there was an illusionist called “The Great Merlini” who was in an underwater tank supposedly holding his breath for 20 minutes. I don’t quite know how he did it exactly, but I’m guessing it wasn’t the old fashioned way. This episode was followed by Andrew WK and his band complete with skanky looking dancing girls. Andrew WK has one of those annoying Michigan accents, similar to ICP, or one of those WWF wrestlers. The show is tacky, but not good tacky like old Las Vegas style or 70’s game shows. It was very entertaining in spite of it being completely nuked. The real stars of the show were the dancers, who performed some fairly dangerous maneuvers without much clothing and probably for not much money.

October 11, 2010. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

I hate HD

I hate HD. I’m sorry, but I don’t need to see people’s faces in that much detail. People looked much more attractive when they were grainy and fuzzy. If I want to see people that clearly, I can go into a fluorescent lit Safeway bathroom. Seriously what makes people think every technological advancement in photography is going to automatically translate to something more aesthetically pleasing? Does someone you’ve slept with look more appealing the next morning in broad daylight and no makeup on? Rarely I suppose, but that’s only in instances when you’ve been blinded by the effects of falling madly in love with them. When you watch HD you are looking at what you once thought were attractive people, only in a very unflattering light. People look good on film, 70mm 35 mm 16mm super 8, hell even the now defunct Polaroid film was more easy on the eyes( and we’ve all taken and destroyed a bad Polaroid.) People even can look okay on shitty 70’s or 80’s videotape(though its not my personal preference, at least for pornography…for sporting events and newscasts though it was just fine.) Somehow, some folks manage to still look like terrific beauties even in HD format, although it’s little creepy seeing the glaze of their eyes and the subtleties of every mouth movement.
More power to them, in fact we should probably fear them as they will be the ones in power if the presidential elections as depicted in book Fahrenheit 451 are any premonition(they’ve already come to pass.) Anyhow, even these high-def-genic genetic wonders of the world would still look better with a little less definition. The bottom line though is that HD does nothing to enhance the viewing experience regardless of it being a remarkable technical achievement.

October 6, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

ask the dust

Jonathan and I were looking into getting a booth at first fridays for Phoestival to sell our cds, paintings and such…but for the last few months there has been no street vending allowed apparently due to some problems with getting street closure on Roosevelt. I got this email below which (sort of) explains the current situation.

——– Original Message ——–
Subject: First Fridays Vending
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2010 15:18:53 -0700
From: *****>
To: Roosevelt Neighborhood


There will still be no street vending nor street closure in October for First Friday.

We have been working very closely with the Mayor’s Office, PPD and local private property owners in Roosevelt Row through a new permitting structure that will allow us to organize Arts Market hubs (like a Farmer’s Market, but without the emphasis on fresh produce) on vacant lots in Roosevelt Row so we will have a sustainable, near future long term solution to the need for secured space for community events and activities including performance, arts installations, arts and crafts vending, local food/business/nonprofit tabling for occasions such as First Friday and hopefully many others, as well! We are meeting with potential sponsors to help us meet county dust proofing criteria, which is very costly but promising advances are being made at this time, and then we’ll move forward with the permitting and be up and running.

First of all, why did the city stop closing Roosevelt for First Fridays in the first place? It was great! It’s only one night a month for crying out loud, and who in their right mind would want to drive down that street when all those hordes of people are milling about.
So now the people at Roosevelt Row are trying to find vacant lots that can be used, but they will have to spend a bunch of money to meet “county dustproofing criteria,” an environmental regulation. I can think of almost nothing that would be less environmentally hazardous than people setting up folding tables and selling handmade arts and crafts, but whatever. I guess there could be a lot of dust and dirt kicked up from crowds of people walking around on a vacant lot, seriously though. It seems to me the easiest thing to do would be to go back to closing Roosevelt St. during First Fridays as it is just one street, and this would be better for everyone. Streets are closed off for endless, pointless, waste-of-money road construction projects all the time, and yet they can’t close Roosevelt for one night a month…just for a few blocks, when 10,000-20,000 people are roaming around?

October 3, 2010. Tags: , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

Tony Curtis, RIP.

A fellow man who preferred oysters to snails, Tony Curtis died yesterday. He was one of my favorite actors and definitely influenced me both artistically and personality wise. He’s probably most famous for “Some Like It Hot,” but that’s not one of my faves…and I’m not even sure I’ve seen it in it’s entirety. However, this gem I probably watch on an almost nightly basis and is sitting on top of my dvd player right now:

I recently read his Autobiography which I wrote about here a few months ago,

October 1, 2010. Tags: , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

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