1. I love the show Party of Five. The writing is so good. I actually still identify more with the high school relationships on the show like Bailey and Sara or Julia and Justin, which probably says a lot about my maturity level at this point.
2. I love the 90’s in general. A lot of the stuff that I used to think I was too cool for actually was cool. Some of the stuff I liked that wasn’t cool, still isn’t cool, but I continue to like it.
3. I’m a hypochondriac. One of my doctor’s once suggested I see a psychiatrist. The other thinks I have a potentially serious underlying illness. It’s so confusing. So many doctors are full of shit, and I’ll be dead long before they figure it all out.
4. I love going to the mall. Yep, I still hang out at the mall. Don’t ask me why I’m a mallrat. I think the key to staying young is to continue to do the things you did when you were young. It’s like The Twilight Zone episode “Kick the Can,” but I don’t want to spoil the ending for you. Just go watch it.
5. I’m a misogynist. I really do hate women kind of. I watch them make horrible life decisions over and over, and it is just draining. Yet, here I am like Charlie Brown always coming back to kick the football again….so that probably makes me even dumber than some idiot who admires and appreciates women. Whenever I hear a guy talk about how wonderful women are my first thought is “suckerrrrr!”
6. I don’t care about variety. I like eating the same stuff all the time. I like digestive predictability.
7. The first sentence I spoke as a baby was “It’s not just a job it’s an adventure” after I saw a navy commercial(true story)
8. I share a lot of common traits with serial killers, but somehow I didn’t turn out to be one and instead became a great romancer
9. I tend to date a lot of girls that have emotional and psychological problems. I even got a job at Abercrombie one time to try to meet normal chicks, but I just can’t connect with them and sooner or later I admit to myself that they are into some wack shit and what the fuck am I doing.
10. I fantasize about ditching my cellphone and getting a housephone, or even a pager. I hate texting and miss late night phone conversations on those phones that used to light up when they rang.
11. I have a lot of narcissistic tendencies, but it’s too late to change so I’m just going with it at this point.
12. My favorite motivational book is “Winning Through Intimidation” by Robert Ringer. It’s kind of dated though. There is a great chapter on how a woman can market herself as marriage material to a man. That shit would never fly today.
13. I like a lot of girl singer music because I usually pretend it’s one of my aggravated ex girlfriends singing the song to me, and I relate to it in that way. Or you just reverse it and pretend it’s like a guy singing about a girl. I think that girls do this sort of thing too.
14.I tend to live in the past, because it’s way better then.
15. I suffer from “post orgasm depression” which is why I don’t really care about sex that much. I actually hate when girls think you are just trying to hook up when you talk to them. Get real. Any girl I’ve ever dated can testify that I care almost nothing about sex. I mean I might walk by a girl and think “hey i’d bang her” but if I had to put any actual effort into it forget it. When it actually happens, the first thing I’m thinking afterwards is “how did I get myself into this situation and how am I going to get out of it?”
16. I get depressed when I look up my old favorite actresses from my generation and they are married and have kids. It’s just never going to happen with me and Megan Ward, and I guess I have to accept it. These broads are all long gone.
17. I’m an only child
18. Sooner or later I’m going to record a hit song. I’ve been a struggling artist since 1995, and one of these days I will get the credit I’m due though I may have to wait until after I’m dead. That’s the price you pay. People who achieve instant success when they are young usually pay in the form of some downward spiral into drugs and madness like in E True Hollywood Story.
19. I love the old “Charlie’s Angels” show from the 70’s. At the beginning of the year I was bedridden for 2 months with a rib injury and watched every episode in a row. My favorite episode is the one where they go to Las Vegas and Dean Martin is in it. Jaclyn Smith is probably my favorite angel. She pretty much epitomizes female perfection.
20. i’m mostly a loner, and a very stubborn one. I often will go some place alone even though all my friends will be going some place else. If I don’t want to do something I really won’t do it. Being on my own for so long has afforded me this one pathetic luxury.