I’d be a fool not to know I’m a fool

So I finally finished reading “Something Wicked this Way Comes,” the film version of which I last saw when it made it’s debut on HBO in 1984. I’ve written about that here before. Finishing the book made me sort of upset with myself for not heeding the lessons of the story when I was exposed to it as a young child. Or did I? It’s hard to say, as both Will Halloway and Jim Nightshade, both flirted with the temptations of the carnival…giving in here and there. Granted I was a small child, but had I made proper use of the movie’s theme in my time I would have probably made a vast array of different decisions. So I have to wonder…would I have gotten on the Merry Go Round? Am I some sort of 21st century version of the lightning rod salesman turned mad dwarf searching for himself? All I know is that when I saw the movie “Something Wicked This Way Comes” as a kid, it terrified me and always stayed with me. But I wish I had paid more attention. But I did not make all the bad decisions. So perhaps I’m like the half-bad Charles Holloway, who gives the defining monologue:

“Sometimes the man who looks happiest in town, with the biggest smile, is the one carrying the biggest load of sin. There are smiles & smiles; learn to tell the dark variety from the light. The seal-barker, the laugh-shouter, half the time he’s covering up. He’s had his fun & he’s guilty. And all men do love sin, Will, oh how they love it, never doubt, in all shapes, sizes, colors & smells. Times come when troughs, not tables, suit appetites. Hear a man too loudly praising others & look to wonder if he didn’t just get up from the sty. On the other hand, that unhappy, pale, put-upon man walking by, who looks all guilt & sin, why, often that’s your good man with a capital G, Will. For being good is a fearful occupation; men strain at it & sometimes break in two. I’ve known a few. You work twice as hard to be a farmer as to be his hog. I suppose it’s thinking about trying to be good makes the crack run up the wall one night. A man with high standards, too, the least hair falls on him sometimes wilts his spine. He can’t let himself alone, won’t let himself off the hook if he falls just a breath from grace.

Oh, it would be lovely if you could just be fine, act fine, not think of it all the time. But it’s hard, right? with the last piece of lemon cake waiting in the icebox, middle of the night, not yours, but you lie awake in a hot sweat for it, eh? do I need tell you? Or a hot spring day, noon, and there you are chained to your school desk and away off there goes the river, cool and fresh over the rock fall. Boys can hear clear water like that miles away. So, minute by minute, hour by hour, a lifetime, it never ends, never stops, you got the choice this second, now this next, and the next after that, be good, be bad, that’s what the clock ticks, that’s what it says in the ticks. Run swim, or stay hot, run eat or lie hungry.So you stay, but once stayed, Will, you know the secret, don’t you? don’t think of the river again. Or the cake. Because if you do, you’ll go crazy. Add up all the rivers never swum in, cakes never eaten, and by the time you’re my age, Will, it’s a lot missed out on. But then you console yourself, thinking, the more times in, the more times possibly drowned, or choked on lemon frosting. But then, through plain dumb cowardice, I guess, maybe you hold off from too much, wait, play it safe.”

“Too late I found you can’t wait to become perfect, you’ve got to get fall down and get up with everybody else. So at last I looked up from my great self wrestling match one night when your mother came to the library for a book and got me instead.And I saw then and there that you take a man half-bad and a woman half-bad and put their two good halves together, and you got one human all good to share between.”

So I’ve been looking for this movie on DVD but can’t find it anywhere locally. So I’m going to have to probably have to order it from Amazon. Funny thing is, I still have a copy of it on Beta, which was recorded probably the last time that I ever saw it. That same tape also had the movie “Splash,” literally a fish out of water romantic comedy with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah(as a mermaid) recorded on it…and always I had to be extremely careful to fast forward and rewind it in a way so that I would never accidentally land and push play on part of “Something Wicked This Way Comes” as I would scare myself silly.

Why can’t I remember the name of the monopoly-like boardgame my grandma and I bought at a rummage sale and played while we watched Something Wicked This Way Comes on HBO one afternoon in 1984. I have never seen that game anywhere since.

April 7, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

Never a lightning rod salesman around when you need one

Saturday afternoon, after grabbing a turkey burger from Johnny Rockets at Fashion Square in Scottsdale, I cruised over to Tempe to distribute promotional materials and stumbled into the gigantic arts and crafts festival on Mill ave…which reminded me of South By Southwest except with less hipsters and more old folks. Still, I love going to these and wish the arts and crafts festival went on every weekend even though that would just cheapen the coin of the realm and less people would go. It always seems like the artifacts one could pick up at these types of events could lead to some cliche
horror movie haunting along the lines of the clock in “Amityville 1992: It’s About Time” Speaking of which, Megan Ward was so hot in that! Whatever happened to her? Many of my most romantic sexual fantasies from the 90’s involved her and that scene where she is seduced by her own reflection. As a further digression, I had a talking PeeWee Herman doll when I was a kid..the one where you pull the string and PeeWee says one of his catch phrases like “I know you are but what am I” etc. And I swear that occasionally that thing would just somehow talk on its own, which scared the shit out of me. It creeped me out so much that I made my mom hide it in the
closet.

The night at Casey Moore’s brought to town a metaphoric carnival of sorts, with various sideshows of drama, suspense, bearded ladies, merry go rounds and mirror mazes(sorry I have been reading Something Wicked this Way Comes and have these things on the brain.) I drank more than usual, so I wasn’t myself. Yes, I’m a lightweight, and two full classes of wine gets me more inebriated than I need to be and sets me off into full on mischief mode. I was trying to protect a super drunk girl who epitomizes female perfection from some really ugly, wack and disgusting guys…although it sort of turned out the girl didn’t want to be protected and was semi-enthusiastic about said dudes….which triggered a sort of “Invasion of The Body Snatchers” moment where I’m Dr. Miles J. Bennell and just discover by way of passionless kiss that someone near and dear has been replaced by a pod. Anyhow, as I’ve mentioned I’m reading “Something Wicked This Way Comes” which, aside from being a great book title, sounds a lot like the type of prediction I’m likely mutter to myself at the start of each day. The last time I saw the film version starring Jason Robards was when it initially played a plethora of times on HBO back in 1984. It terrified me as a small boy, but for some reason I could never resist watching it whenever it came on, usually in the mornings. It affected me deeply..and “the most beautiful woman in the world” as an evil temptress sequences may have contributed to my misogyny later in life(as well as induced some premature stirrings of sexuality down there.) I remembered how frighteningly traumatizing the movie was for me, and so I never saw it again even when I got older…but I think I’m ready now.

I bought a snazzy black denim jacket from American Apparel, which fits right in with my new phase of only wearing combinations of the colors “black and white”

March 29, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

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