The game was created to demonstrate the futility of individual effort.

My internet has been down at my house, so I’ve been having to update this thing from Kinko’s lately…which has been sort of disgusting. There’s always some riff raffy dude sitting on the computer next to me wolfing down trail mix or talking on his cellphone. When one such mf leaves he is replaced by another and another. Being on a public computer is like riding the bus. It just sucks. The weekend wasn’t great, nothing compared to last week anyway…went to Adult Swim with Jonathan on Sunday which was fun enough, and then out to Casey Moore’s where burgers were had. How exciting… a jewel heist it was not but still fairly good times.

Saturday everyone seemed to be going buck wild about the World Cup match between England and USA. People were all excited which led me to believe we had actually beaten England at soccer. I can’t believe people were so thrilled just because we managed a lousy tie. I mean, what would Patton say? I didn’t see the game myself. I think I’m one of those “Ugly Americans” that think soccer is just too boring to watch. It’s low scoring, and the field is so ginormous that it takes forever to just to witness someone make a goal attempt. The people look so small and far away it’s like watching an ant farm and about as exciting. The world cup is also basically a version of the 1975 film Rollerball, essentially a U.N. approved diversion…a sort of emotional outlet for people to express nationalism while meanwhile their countries are being asked to surrender their sovereignty and are slowly and quietly integrated into a world government.

But anyway who cares about all that. I’m focused on looking forward to eating a peanut butter and banana bagel sandwich for lunch.

“On the other hand, it’s the only way you’ll discover that I’m the good guy in this story

Suddenly, I can’t think of anything more important.”

Lack of updates over the weekend can only mean that…you guessed it, I’ve been hanging out with a new girl.

Friday night I met up with Bill at First Friday, where we walked around and had a mostly uneventful time of it. After that we went to Casey Moore’s briefly. Bill says he doesn’t like going to Casey Moore’s lately because there’s more girls there that he has to avoid than ones he wants to hook up with. After a short while I left to go meet up with girl in Cartel parking lot. She’s not quite 21 yet, so she can’t get into bars. No big deal though, We hit up 24 hour Walmart, bought a deck of Uno cards and sneaked into a certain vacant condominium to play. Uno with just two people is a pretty boring game…so after about two hands and 15 minutes, we gave up and just decided to spend the next 5 or 6 hours talking and getting to know each other, occasionally taking a break for a roll around on the floor make out session.

We left just as the sun was starting to come up. As she drove me back to the car she put in a mix cd which had the song “Make it with You” by Bread…which we(or maybe just I) decided would be our song.
It was especially striking because other girls I have hung out with have been completely disgusted by my tendency to enjoy 70’s light rock.

Saturday night we hung out again, and maybe got a bottle of Pinot Grigio and went to the pool area of some random complex I used to live in in Tempe. There was an ex-Marine hanging out in the hot tub whom we chatted with for a bit. He told us some war stories and some dirty jokes which weren’t that funny but that i pretended to laugh at. He was a nice enough guy, though.

Afterwards, we went back to my house and fell asleep while watching “Caprice” starring Doris Day.

Sunday morning we had breakfast at Wildflower. The manager lady came up to our table and asked us if were dating. She said we looked really cute together. We didn’t know what to say, but girl mentioned that we should have told her we were brother and sister… which would have been pretty awkward and great.

Then we went to Borders at the Biltmore, and upstairs they have this little room with a podium and chairs that people use for presentations or whatever. We took turns reading from books to each other at the podium, with the other person just sitting in the audience. I read a chapter from Donald Trump’s “Think Like a Champion” which turned out to be not a very entertaining choice. She read from something called “1001 Funniest Things Ever Said” which was a lame book, but suited are purposes very well…so for my second turn I read from that also.

Then we went back to my house, and listened to “The Zombies” cd in my room a few times before heading off to the Adult Swim pool party where we mostly just hung out with Jonathan and ate chicken strips.

It was almost time to say goodbye, but we first ended up back at my house where we quietly watched “Fathom.” It was one of the most romantic movie watching experiences with a girl I’ve ever had. She didn’t text or talk the whole time, and basically we just held hands. I started to miss her before she even left, which is generally a good sign.

The Perils of Vampirism

I wonder if vampires would have trouble buying alcohol. Since their ID cards would say they were like hundreds of years old, but then they might only look like they were about 25…No one would believe it was a valid ID. I can just picture ol’ Nosferatu pleading his case with some meathead doofus bouncer before getting frustrated and draining the dude’s blood. The reason I thought of this is because one time when my ex-girlfriend and I went to Ra! in Scottsdale for sushi, they refused to serve me alcohol. They did not believe I was as old as my ID said, and this was my actual state issued driver’s license we are talking about, not some YMCA gym membership card or ghetto, payday loan/check cashing place ID. They simply did not believe it was my real ID card, and I even got the manager involved and everything, and they still refused to let me buy a drink. I got pissed off and made kind of a big scene, and told them to call the cops. I probably would have been thrown out, had I not stormed out telling them I would “never fucking eat there again.” It was one of the only times I have ever lost my temper in front of a girl.

And of course, what brought that incident to mind was when I attended the Adult Swim pool party this afternoon… I was the most fully clothed person there, all duded up in my sunday best. I managed to avoid having direct sunlight hit my skin for almost a full seven hours outside. I wore my new Ben Sherman track jacket and long pants… in the blazing heat and did not even break a sweat at any time during the entire day. I was actually kind of cold. Someone said that I was like a vampire, which I guess would explain my occasional powers of charm, superhuman strength(for an otherwise scrawny dude) and tragically hopeless romanticism. Or maybe I’m just anemic, and need to eat neck with some girl for a while.

Anyway, I’m exhausted and happy to be home watching Pink Panther cartoons on DVD.

but it was just my imagination ….running away with me

adult swim 2010

The weekend was action packed. Friday night I decided to check out “Crotch Rockitt,” the night hosted by Tiffe Fermaint, Austin Head and some other dudes. Someone from “The Faint was DJing. It’s at the place (that used to be?) known as Anderson’s 5th Estate, but it seems like it’s called something else now. There were a lot of people, but the problem is the place is so big that it just never looks that full. I ran into, of all people, the attractive girl named Anna who had accidentally burned me with her cigarette the night before at Casey Moore’s. She apologized profusely, but I never got a chance to tell her that I didn’t really care and that I just used the whole minor ordeal as a cheap excuse to talk to her and that really it was a lucky thing that it happened.

Sunday was the first Adult Swim pool party of the Summer. They have it at the Days Inn this year. Last year it was at the Wyndham, a much nicer hotel, but they moved it probably so they could get away with more debauchery, play louder music…have it end later and greater etc. The alcohol was certainly cheaper($2 beers) which means I was able to get good and drunk fairly quickly. I managed to drag filmmaker Steven Christopher Wallace with me to the jam. Hung out mostly with him and a shirtless Jonathan Sakas. We went in the hot tub at an inopportune time when a bunch of cute girls were just getting out of it, and a boatload of dudes were just getting in. I know not whether we were the cause of this. Jonathan thought I needed to show more skin, but I tend to melt away into dust and bones like Vincent Price at the end of “War Gods of the Deep” when my skin is exposed to daylight on the Earth’s surface. I did take my pants off though, which was a mistake, since when we went in the hot tub, we didn’t have towels or anything so I had to put my dry clothes on over my wet body, which was very uncomfortable and caused me to have unfulfilled fantasies of being able to blowdry the damply wet seat of my pants for the rest of the evening.

adult swim 2010 phoenix

It’s always weird when you go out and recognize random people that you know online from Facebook or Twitter or whatever. You just never know if they recognize you back, so you just exchange awkward looks and never quite acknowledge one another . The internet has certainly added the dynamic of a kind of “fourth wall” in real life social situations. Very rarely is it broken as successfully the way we became accustomed to seeing Zack Morris pull it off a zillion times in Saved By The Bell(“Timeout!.”)

Adult Swim was super fun, but kind of a bust romantically(no pun intended) as most of the bikini clad women either had boyfriends or (like moths to a flashlight) were only interested in having their picture taken. I did get a girl’s number at the very end of the night though. I recognized her from the pool party last year. I have such a great memory, I remember someone’s face(if I’m interested in it) when I’ve seen it for a few moments. The reason I remembered her is because when I noticed her last year she looked super pissed to be there, and her friends were having fun, but she was just standing there. My friend and I had debated for several minutes whether we should go hit on her, but then she left unexpectedly early and I got distracted by some other drama. Anyhow this year I decided to chat her up and when I talked to her she was kind of a sarcastic bitch at first, but warmed up to me after a few minutes. At first she thought I was lying when I said I remembered her, but when I was able to describe the exact circumstances in detail I could tell she really did believe me. And thus a certain mutual bond of respect and flattery was formed. Anyway she didn’t really seem too interested in hanging out though, but hey who could blame her for that? certainly not anyone who reads this site on a regular basis!

adult swim phoenix 2010

Afterward, Steve and Jonathan and I went to Casey Moore’s where we hung out with Bree and Kelly S. and discussed a lot of disgusting and totally taboo subjects(vibrator repair, electric toothbrushes etc) but at that point all I wanted to do was go home and get out of my wet clothes and dream of lions at the zoo. On the way out of Casey Moore’s I saw some girl who was just at Adult Swim, and our eyes met like we were about to say hi, BUT then I wasn’t watching where i was going so I almost ate shit and crashed into my friend…and as we were leaving I could have sworn i heard the faint sound of playful laughter echoing off in the distance.