Once, Twice, Three Times, I’d put a baby in Lady Gaga

Something amazing happened a couple of weeks ago while I was in Las Vegas for the CES show. As I was lying in my hotel room one night watching tv at the mid-tier “Flamingo” establishment located on the strip, somewhere deep in my mind I began to of all things… develop a bizarre crush. It happened when the hokey local newscasters put a picture up on the screen of Lady Gaga at the CES show. They did it presumably to make light of her (in their view) preposterous hairdo and bold fashion statement…comparing her on the air to a peacock or some suck creature( by far not the worst animal for a girl to be compared to.)

lady gaga ces polaroid

To me though she seemed beautiful, a larger than life figure wrapped up into a little Tootsie Roll Pop package. If we lived in a monarchy she would be fit to be queen. She kind of reminds me of a comic book super hero(or villainess) sort of like a younger version of Monica Vitti(“there is a sting in my tail!”) as she starred in the 1966 classic “Modesty Blaise,” an all time favorite of mine.

Anyhow, since that moment when she showed up on my screen, I have been all sorts of romantic non-pervy daydreams about her. This sort of thing is reminiscent of the time I developed an innocent yet major crush on the video game character “Rydia” from Final Fantasy II for Super Nintendo some years ago…or harkens back to the days of E/N when I developed a superficially romantic interest in the legendary camgirl “Charisma” of the long defunct Charismama.com.

But here I find myself all over again in 2010 with Lady Gaga. And yes I realize that in many a sense she’s the antithesis of a dude like me. A great singer for one, she’s a product of the world of catchy overproduced pop run through computers and set to a backdrop of oozing sexuality and “what will she do next?” sellout show hobaggery. A bisexual icon of the gay community(some even claim she’s a hermaphrodite,) Lady Gaga actually admires Ellen Degeneres and is by all accounts your average hardcore east coast liberal celeb example of the parallel track modern day America is on with the Fall of the Roman Empire. I probably have more in common with Charles Manson than Lady Gaga, for as Charles and I would both say “Man, I don’t live in that world.”

But here’s the thing, I don’t care.

I like Lady Gaga anyway. She’s awesome. And there is always a subtle underlying romance that occurs in a story between the archetype romantic male hero and his arch enemy, the sadistic femme fatale….or between the feminist female heroine and the creepy criminal mastermind(depending on your point of reference.)

I can say right now though, at this moment, with barely a hint of understated sarcasm in my voice …that I am in love with Lady Gaga! Let there be no doubt she is the undisputed epitome of female perfection!

Spanish article bashes nay and others

Maybe they’re just upset about Nay not being Cuban anymore, but there’s an article written in spanish about nay and other camgirls. It even features a hilarious photo of Nay relaxing scantily in a bubble bath or something with her eyes blacked out. The article is typical other than that covering all the usual angles that salon and others wrote about ages ago. I liked how it says “el wishlist”. I ‘m not going to translate the whole thing, but I’m still waiting for a mainstream article that’ “pro-camgirls”

The Return of Palses Forums

Out of nowhere, Amanda decided to bring back the once popular palses community. Actually glovebox joe managed to convince her, but it was still rather unexpected.

Welcome to the Palses Board Thing!
For like, a year, the Palses Board was the coolest thing ever, but it kept getting hacked and breaking so after using a few thousand BB programs we just gave up.

UBB is like, all popular and stuff, so the hope is that they would make it stable and we can have fun again.

For those who don’t know, the Palses are 4 Lyfe, Homedawg, and stuff like that. I’m unsure. I forget a lot of the old Palses lingo. All I know is, that, uhm… we’re not quite like other boards in the sense that we’re extremely stupid.

So, enjoy.

Perhaps we can look forward to seeing some familiar palses like Mr. Peach, Vex, Voltron, Shane, Naeiri,…and err, bastards like Angelxdrug and Prettybitch.

Palses was unique in that none of the conversations were the least bit decipherable, not even in a “secret society” kind of way. Just endless random unapologetically incoherent posts by the same 5 or 6 members. I got a bit caught up in it for a time with such classic topics as “All Hail Amanda, the ‘diet pepsi’ of the internet”.

The re-emergence of Palses marks an important first step in validatethis’ return to greatness. Now all that’s left is to discontinue letting “joey michaels” post updates to the main page and perhaps coaxing bertie into orchestrating some manifestation for Survivorcam 3.

A Thief in the Night

Well earlier today I was reading a rival’s site, “internet gossip” when I noticed one of the articles was written by me. It was marked “reader submission”, which was astonishing considering the fact that I certainly hadn’t submitted anything. In fact, the only time I’ve ever written an article for IG was about a rift between Charisma and Nay which was ages ago, and not only did i not get credit for it, but Dr. T rewrote the article and (naturally) altered it to give it a pro-nay stance.

Anyhow, after perusing through the text, sure enough it turned out they had blatantly plagiarized one of my articles directly off this site, word for word. I contacted them regarding this, and they were of course impolite, and unapologetic and also remarkably clueless regarding what constitutes plagiarism.

Anyhow, I have always envisioned (and still do) this site to be a tasteful gossip site, in lieu of tacky deviations like “jail bait of the week” or “worst tits on the net” (and other leftover 1990’s Springer era humor). We don’t need that kind of mtv.

Chelle’s wishlist woes

Yeah, I know we just did an article on Chelle’s, haircut a few days ago, but it appears now she may not receive the gifts some pervy guys bought for her due to no fault of her own.

I got rid of my felicite wishlist. I can’t believe them. Their site fucked up and let someone into my account now they freeze my account and try to tell me they’re investigating on who’s the real owner of the account??? I started it under the email address I use to contact them, and they still have the nerve to say that? I’m pissed 😡 . I just told them to ship out my gifts (because they haven’t yet, they always take like 5 years to do it) to the original address and I’d be done with ’em. No more of that :/.

Well I can imagine what kind of priceless items must have been on her felicite wishlist, actually no i can’t since I’m pretty out of touch living in my own SNES RPG fantasy world and all. Probably just some revealing summer dresses made of cheap material and assorted lemon scented hypoallergenic lotions and creams. Anyhow, Chelle really need any wishlist at this point. She should be moving on to bigger and better things like chrono trigger, non-union commercial acting, and hanging out with misogynists.

Update: Felicite responds, with Chelle being denied the gifts the pervs bought her.
Felicite, you motherfuckers.

CLICK TO READ EMAIL

So it looks like after 4 months of having this wishlist they ‘decide’ to close down my account and ever other webmasters account. They bank off of overcharging the buyer for shipping, you all are fucking scammers, and why do we get the gifts like months later? Shit, with what you charge we should be getting next day service. I’m very sorry to anyone who has purchased me something, if you were one of those people please email felicite and demand them to either refund you or ship the gift out to me.

I for one never knew chelle was capable of that sort of machismo. I’m confident she’ll get the gifts, as thank god she should.

Anyhow, apparently the same thing happened to Nay but she posted it in such a vile manner that it’s not suitable to be examined here by those of us trying to remain pure.

Ruca creates unprecedented “suntan journal”

The vulgar yet well read Ruca of Rucacam has decided to create a “suntanning journal” complete with a color coded tan-o-meter.

Well because I am the gayest of the gay, I have decided to create a journal of my ULTIMATE SUNTAN. I will not stop until I look like IMAN (maybe then bowie will want me).

The “actual” journal apparently starts at day 3 for some reason instead of day 1, and the entry includes too many profanities to be posted here.

Personally, I never knew that Bowie had an affinity for the tanning type of broads. Aren’t most brits pale anyway? Anyhow I’m pretty sure this is a bad idea since Ruca has fair skin and will just get sunburnt and appear to have aged more rapidly. I’m a creature of the night myself, and i know one when i see one.

Nay gets a Tattoo

Perhaps the most famous and controversial cam girl on the internet,(or at least in the top 5)Nay(or as she now prefers to be called, Renee) has long been the epitome of the dysfunctional suburban teenage girl. An attractive nice girl, yet a high school dropout with too much makeup and excessive emotional baggage and carry ons. It has always been hypothesized that she’d end up at the most, a stripper or teen pregnancy statistic. Well now taken a new step forward in that direction and at just 15 has gotten a tattoo.

Ok, so I got it done. I went and got a tattoo. That deffinately hurt a lot more than I had expected. It below my bellybutton to the left. It felt like a million little bees stinging me. The outline “deffinately” hurt a lot more than the actual coloring though. I was holding on to Shelly’s hand oh-so-tight.

This girl is 15 years old and wants to be 30. Personally, I’d trade anything for those days in 6th grade when a rented video game and some microwave popcorn was the ideal Friday night. If I had the money i’d live in a nice humid house and sit at home and play chrono trigger all day and drink diet pepsi.

Nay’s 15 and she has a tattoo. Soon she’ll be making babies and voting. Hopefully her kids will rebel and “break the seal”.