Las Vegas II

 

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This was my bed at The Flamingo, where I had sex with the hottest girl ever. She just wasn’t actually there while it was happening.

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I didn’t intend to make this stupid ass face.

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I almost fell for this marketing tactic.

If only they would have had a slot machine that had Lisa Eilbacher as part of it’s theme, I would have cranked out the quarters.

 

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Once, Twice, Three Times, I’d put a baby in Lady Gaga

Something amazing happened a couple of weeks ago while I was in Las Vegas for the CES show. As I was lying in my hotel room one night watching tv at the mid-tier “Flamingo” establishment located on the strip, somewhere deep in my mind I began to of all things… develop a bizarre crush. It happened when the hokey local newscasters put a picture up on the screen of Lady Gaga at the CES show. They did it presumably to make light of her (in their view) preposterous hairdo and bold fashion statement…comparing her on the air to a peacock or some suck creature( by far not the worst animal for a girl to be compared to.)

lady gaga ces polaroid

To me though she seemed beautiful, a larger than life figure wrapped up into a little Tootsie Roll Pop package. If we lived in a monarchy she would be fit to be queen. She kind of reminds me of a comic book super hero(or villainess) sort of like a younger version of Monica Vitti(“there is a sting in my tail!”) as she starred in the 1966 classic “Modesty Blaise,” an all time favorite of mine.

Anyhow, since that moment when she showed up on my screen, I have been all sorts of romantic non-pervy daydreams about her. This sort of thing is reminiscent of the time I developed an innocent yet major crush on the video game character “Rydia” from Final Fantasy II for Super Nintendo some years ago…or harkens back to the days of E/N when I developed a superficially romantic interest in the legendary camgirl “Charisma” of the long defunct Charismama.com.

But here I find myself all over again in 2010 with Lady Gaga. And yes I realize that in many a sense she’s the antithesis of a dude like me. A great singer for one, she’s a product of the world of catchy overproduced pop run through computers and set to a backdrop of oozing sexuality and “what will she do next?” sellout show hobaggery. A bisexual icon of the gay community(some even claim she’s a hermaphrodite,) Lady Gaga actually admires Ellen Degeneres and is by all accounts your average hardcore east coast liberal celeb example of the parallel track modern day America is on with the Fall of the Roman Empire. I probably have more in common with Charles Manson than Lady Gaga, for as Charles and I would both say “Man, I don’t live in that world.”

But here’s the thing, I don’t care.

I like Lady Gaga anyway. She’s awesome. And there is always a subtle underlying romance that occurs in a story between the archetype romantic male hero and his arch enemy, the sadistic femme fatale….or between the feminist female heroine and the creepy criminal mastermind(depending on your point of reference.)

I can say right now though, at this moment, with barely a hint of understated sarcasm in my voice …that I am in love with Lady Gaga! Let there be no doubt she is the undisputed epitome of female perfection!

what would bugsy siegel say

Saturday I got back from Las Vegas where I attended the Consumer Electronics Convention(CES.) 3D tvs are apparently going to be the big new thing. Would be cooler if no tv was going to be the new big thing.

Las Vegas was fun but mostly exhausting from all the walking around I did carrying stuff. Nothing really eventful happened either. I didn’t gamble much(didn’t win anything in any event) didn’t try to meet any girls, didn’t drink much, didn’t really have time or money set aside to do all the things I wanted to do, and all in all was happy to be home.

Stayed at the Flamingo, where nearly everything was a ripoff and the management seemed totally incompetent. When I checked into my room it had slices of bread and unidentifiable pills underneath the bed.
My room was on the 12th floor, and I thought it would be fun to take the stairs down, but when I opened the door to the stairwell it was outside!…which was comically terrifying since I’m afraid of heights and so I instantly shut the door .

Circus Circus is still my favorite place on the strip for fun and historical ambiance, but I have grown to appreciate the Venetian(I’m generally not fond of newer places) as it seems that very attractive people tend to congregate there.