Charlie Don’t Surf the Net!

So the weekend was strangely uneventful. I ended up not going out due to falling asleep during the prime time hours (10 p.m to 5 a.m thurs, fri sat and sunday night.) Also, for the entire weekend the movie “Apolcalypse Now Redux” played on repeat in my room. That’s not meant to be a metaphor for some abstract, surreal and creepy shit that was going on. I really was watching Apocalypse Now Redux. It must have played nearly 30 or 40 times(and still counting.) That of course, led to some really bizarre and terrifying dreams. The worst type of nightmare I have is a frequently recurring one. It’s one of those where in the dream, you’ve killed someone justifiably yet covered it up or buried them(like a metropolitan version of Deliverance but without the uncomfortable male rape scene.) Anyway you spend the entire dream, nervous about getting caught by the authorities who are slowly picking up clues(Match Point?) Well in this particular version, I had killed someone after they had come back from the dead, because they requested it. I may have actually only reburied them in some sort of weird shrine in the backyard. IDFK. For some reason I had to keep them in the freezer for a bit first. And then I went to the bank teller… who was in my house for some reason, and took out $50 to gamble in Vegas(high stakes I know.) The teller gave the money to me all in 1 dollar bills, and in an excessive amount of bundles and money bags which made it look like a hell of a lot more than $50. I was concerned it might be stolen.

Anyway, the big twist in the dream, was that when I got back home, my mom was in the process of killing someone. It was some sort of real jerky guy who resembled that asshole ex-husband/ex-boyfriend guy in Superman (was Brad his name?) So, yeah, basically I walk in, catch the end of the ordeal as she’s busy wiping away fingerprints from ashtrays and scrubbing the place of dna evidence(my mom always was a neat freak.)

So, later the cops show up, only vaguely suspicious,to ask her questions and search the place. I’m of course nervous about my own “crime” (which she does not seem to know about.) After they leave she tells me they found nothing except she can’t understand why they managed to spot some blood in the freezer. So the jig is up, but then I rationalize that since the cops are working on a completely different case, the blood in the freezer won’t match with that of the victim they are investigating, so they may not look into it further. The dream ends with us somewhat fast forwarded ahead in time, trying to get on with our lives. Meanwhile I’m still concerned about the police, but she reassures me that they have no evidence, and they’re not going to do anything.

One thing about these kinds of nightmares that always gets me, is that they are so real. I often find myself saying “if only this were a dream, but it’s real this time! I wish I could take it back, but it actually happened, and I will have have to look over my shoulder forever. This is real!” Well it wasn’t real. I woke up and there was Martin Sheen to tell me, “Saigon. Shit, I’m still only in Saigon.”

April 27, 2011. Tags: , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

I’ve got dreams to remember

So here I am sitting around in my underwear playing my guitar and listening to the Hollies’ greatest hits on my Fisher Price record player. Right now the song “I’m alive” is playing…which I feel like is a lie for these times. This along with going to the mall have come to be the high point of my day. Yep, that’s what life has come to.
I had to sweat through my vehicle’s emission test on what seemed to be one of the hottest days of the year. Miraculously, my car passed….and i say miraculously because the check engine light had been on for like 8 months, but I changed the battery the day before so it must have reset and went off long enough for me to take the test. Now I can get on with my life.
In other news, I feel like I’ve been hanging out with trashy girls for so long that I’ve forgotten how to behave myself and act like a gentleman. I think living in Phoenix for so long now has just made me lessen the value in those qualities. It’s just adaptation is all. I find myself saying things to girls I would never said 5 or 6 years ago. But when almost every girl you know hangs out with scuzzy tattoo dudes with beer guts and various other riff raffy guys, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist that you’re not going to get anywhere with these hoes unless you make a trip down in scraggle rock and start upping your scum quotient. So I grew a beard, talk more crassly, and now my hair is getting kind of longer and gross. All I need is to gain about 50 pounds and embark upon the joys of self mutilation with piercings and tattoos…and I will finally be in the target demographic of the Tempe/downtown phoenix girl. I believe I covered this in more depth when I wrote :Tempe girls vs.Scottsdale girls.

Before I began this entry, I just woke up to a really bizarre sexual nightmare. I was hanging out with a girl I used to date, in her room, and she was being a huge bitch. Still with some persistence I convinced her to allow me to “do stuff” to her. Anyway, she wasn’t into it at all though and everytime I would start doing something, she would be like “no wait don’t do that,” but it was more like she would have some lame excuse for everything. So when I went to have sex with her she said “No I’m so loose down there right now that you’ll just bounce around everywhere.” And I’m thinking “what? ummm I don’t fucking care!” And then she said “yeah, it’s only big dicks for me now.” At that point I just wanted to slap her…but I managed to sort of keep my cool and so I went to go down on her and just said “Look, can’t you just play along and we’ll just see what happens?” And with that she gave in and started to let me and we almost had what could have been perceived as a romantic moment BUT just as I was starting…an old acquaintance/friend of mine walks in out of nowhere and interrupts. He had a drink in his hand and suddenly I was holding a miniature naked version of the girl in my hand and he came up with his drink and did a “cheers”and put his glass up to it! After he walked away I turned to back to talk to the life size girl again, and she just said “I do not want him here to watch another short (film.)” It was clear the “mood” had been broken, and we weren’t going to continue.

August 17, 2010. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

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