Deadly is the female. Nothing deadlier is known to man

There’s totally a rogue mosquito on the loose in my house. It’s been biting the shit out of me and driving me crazy. I see her flying around periodically, but can’t seem to catch the bastard. I’ve been dealing with this pesky mosquito for days. It’s very elusive and always bites me just when I’m not looking. This thing is also very clever and seems to land on me only in areas that are not plainly visible to me, like the underside of my arms or my back. It also has managed to bite me in random areas where one wouldn’t normally expect to be bitten. Like, how do you get a mosquito bite on the bottom of your foot…while your feet are flat on the ground? I’ve chased this bugger around, and taken a few swipes at her but no dice. I’ve started to contemplate more drastic measures, like smoking or fogging her out. It’s like a pink panther cartoon or something, you know like where the pink panther would be driven mad by some little pest, and end up blowing up and destroying his house trying to get rid of it(but still not getting rid of it.) I can already hear the climactic chase music.

October 24, 2010. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

losers please sign in

So there’s this guy who owns some sort of garage down a couple blocks toward the ghetto part of the street I live on. Almost every morning for the past few years that I’ve lived here, the poor guy has had to come out and paint over the nightly graffiti left by the Mexican gangster hooligans in the area. The cycle just never seems to end. Every time he paints over it, within a day or two there are new graffiti tags up. It’s like that classic Pink Panther Cartoon “The Pink Phink,” where a house painter can’t figure out why everything he paints blue turns pink. But this guy never gives up. He just keeps painting over it. There must be several thousand coats of paint on that wall, and I’m surprised one can still make out the stucco features of a wall where paint has been so thoroughly caked on. However, today as I drove by I noticed that the guy had apparently given up on painting over their shitty tags and instead offered up this clever zinger of his own that I couldn’t help but snap a picture of:

losers sign in here

Apparently, he got tired of their stalemate game of paint-o-war, and just decided to openly mock them by writing “losers please sign in” which given that they’re probably illiterate or can’t speak English…they were all too willing to oblige. Just a friendly garage owner doing his part to keep a shitty old building as nice as possible and trying his best to make the neighborhood a decent place. This guy is my hero!

May 2, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

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