On the other hand, it’s the only way you’ll discover that I’m the good guy in this story

Suddenly, I can’t think of anything more important.”

Lack of updates over the weekend can only mean that…you guessed it, I’ve been hanging out with a new girl.

Friday night I met up with Bill at First Friday, where we walked around and had a mostly uneventful time of it. After that we went to Casey Moore’s briefly. Bill says he doesn’t like going to Casey Moore’s lately because there’s more girls there that he has to avoid than ones he wants to hook up with. After a short while I left to go meet up with girl in Cartel parking lot. She’s not quite 21 yet, so she can’t get into bars. No big deal though, We hit up 24 hour Walmart, bought a deck of Uno cards and sneaked into a certain vacant condominium to play. Uno with just two people is a pretty boring game…so after about two hands and 15 minutes, we gave up and just decided to spend the next 5 or 6 hours talking and getting to know each other, occasionally taking a break for a roll around on the floor make out session.

We left just as the sun was starting to come up. As she drove me back to the car she put in a mix cd which had the song “Make it with You” by Bread…which we(or maybe just I) decided would be our song.
It was especially striking because other girls I have hung out with have been completely disgusted by my tendency to enjoy 70’s light rock.

Saturday night we hung out again, and maybe got a bottle of Pinot Grigio and went to the pool area of some random complex I used to live in in Tempe. There was an ex-Marine hanging out in the hot tub whom we chatted with for a bit. He told us some war stories and some dirty jokes which weren’t that funny but that i pretended to laugh at. He was a nice enough guy, though.

Afterwards, we went back to my house and fell asleep while watching “Caprice” starring Doris Day.

Sunday morning we had breakfast at Wildflower. The manager lady came up to our table and asked us if were dating. She said we looked really cute together. We didn’t know what to say, but girl mentioned that we should have told her we were brother and sister… which would have been pretty awkward and great.

Then we went to Borders at the Biltmore, and upstairs they have this little room with a podium and chairs that people use for presentations or whatever. We took turns reading from books to each other at the podium, with the other person just sitting in the audience. I read a chapter from Donald Trump’s “Think Like a Champion” which turned out to be not a very entertaining choice. She read from something called “1001 Funniest Things Ever Said” which was a lame book, but suited are purposes very well…so for my second turn I read from that also.

Then we went back to my house, and listened to “The Zombies” cd in my room a few times before heading off to the Adult Swim pool party where we mostly just hung out with Jonathan and ate chicken strips.

It was almost time to say goodbye, but we first ended up back at my house where we quietly watched “Fathom.” It was one of the most romantic movie watching experiences with a girl I’ve ever had. She didn’t text or talk the whole time, and basically we just held hands. I started to miss her before she even left, which is generally a good sign.

June 8, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

she comes in colors everywhere… she combs her hair

So I tried to go to the show at The Clubhouse where The Middle East was playing, but it was sold out. You’d think someone who’s been around as long as I have would have no trouble getting into one of these shindigs via guestlists, fair weather friends and whatever. One of the drawbacks of being a reclusive artist though is that you never make the connections with the sleazy promoter people to finagle your way onto the guest lists of these jams. For someone who goes out nearly every single night, I have very little interest in that sort of thing. It’s been ages since I went to see a live band play locally with any sincere intent other than shameless self-promotion and meeting attractive girls. Anyhow, I can confess to never having heard any of “The Middle East’s” songs or “Frightened Rabbit” for that matter(who canceled due to the volcano eruption, grounded European flights debacle.) Now that I no longer have a hip young stylist as a girlfriend, I am exposed to even less new music as I listen to what I want to listen to like 100% of the time now as opposed to being coerced into broadening with the threat of imminent bitchiness if I don’t stop being so selfish.

And with that you’re probably wondering “Where the fuck is he going with this entry?” Well, nowhere important really… other than last week as I was eating some chicken from El Pollo Supremo, I picked up a copy of The New Times(which is almost never a good idea for anyone with a conservative bone in their body)and opened to a random page where there was an interview with director Kevin Smith. Now I never liked any of Kevin Smith’s movies except sort of Mallrats…but even that’s not because I think it’s great, I just love going to the mall. I am a mallrat. Also any kid who was a skateboarder in the 90’s wanted to see one of our own, Jason Lee(my first proper skateboard was the Blind Jason Lee model with The Grinch on it.) I think Kevin Smith just tries too hard to be witty, and the dialogue always comes off as so phony. The scripts never dig down deep to uncover any genuine sincerity. Not to mention I think that “Jay and Silent Bob” are the two most unfunny, annoying character creations on the planet. Also, he’s from New Jersey or something, and like Billy Zoom, I almost universally hate east coast accents. There’s a certain inherent belligerence to them. However, I was shocked to see him say that he “can’t stand going to live shows, because you can never hear the lyrics” which I can definitely relate to. It all just depends what you enjoy about music and what you look to get out of it. Some people like to rock and run around bumping into each other. Others get off on the loudness and energy of the band. For me though, I’m almost always looking for something in the lyrics to validate and vindicate whatever I’m currently feeling, and I picture some other person out there hearing the song and understanding how I feel. If it sounds good and is in tune well that’s just a bonus. Like I have fantasies of walking into a club where there’s a jukebox. There’s hardly anyone there except some girl that I used to like, have a crush on, banged etc… and so I put in a few bucks and play a song on the jukebox(think “Alone Again Or” by the band “Love” or the Rolling Stones’ “She’s a Rainbow”) that somehow if she would just stop talking to the ugly trashy dude she’s with and pay attention to it she would know exactly where I’m coming from and some sort of satisfactory closure or grand re-opening would be realized. Of course the stars would never align that way. The point is that people are not all looking to get the same things out of art. And understanding what someone else is looking for is the first step to appreciating why they may not have the same perception and appreciation of things that you enjoy.

Anyhow, my connection with Kevin Smith was short lived as a few lines down in the interview he makes the following ignorant statement:
“I thought, ‘Phoenix is hot, people wear less clothing, so they’d be less inhibited and less conservative,'” he says. “Or maybe it’s the opposite — since people are wearing less clothing, they feel the need to be the morality police.”

First of all, in typical intellectually incurious, east coast fashion this shows Kevin Smith understands absolutely nothing about conservatism. Conservatives like sexy, feisty, classically beautiful women like Raquel Welch whereas liberal female icons are people like Ellen Degeneres and Kathy Griffin. Furthermore it’s the left wing NAGS and stick-in-the-mud feminazi types like Gloria Steinem who are always whining about the objectification of women, and protesting the attractiveness of magazine models, while lobbying for the right to be fat not have to shave their legs, armpits or wear make up. Conservatives on the other hand see men and women as having definite biological differences and therefore fulfilling natural gender roles… which is why despite all the social conditioning and youth indoctrination people will never completely be a neutered, unisex species because there are certain uncontrollable biological forces at work. They can be bent, but not broken, not until science actually has perfected the capability of physically altering those forces, at which time men will be obsolete. But until then, women will want to wear scantily clad clothing and attract men, and men will want to have sex with as many girls as they can get there grubby little hands on. That’s conservatism, grounded in reality.

As for the religious nuts and the puritans…well they’re hypocrites of course as they turn out to be the biggest pervs of all, but even they recognize the importance of gender roles and can appreciate sexiness, just not when it’s flaunted and paraded about in polite society. Rather they prefer it within the private context of loyal, steadfast relationships and I will resist the urge to say… seminaries and airport bathrooms…but here’s a shocking fact, Catholics and Jews are overwhelmingly democrats. It’s only WASPs who lean republican. That’s the birds and the bees for you.

April 20, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. Comments off.

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